If you're willing to futz around with your television's picture settings for about a half an hour, I've found that you can actually make the 3D effects on Paramount's Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc much more acceptable (although still pretty far from perfect)...
The stuff that works best? Lots of little things moving all at once (leaves blowing around, for example); movement in front of stationary backgrounds; folds in clothing; anything that's red (Vera's dress), blue (Chris' sweater) or green (Jason's shirt); inanimate objects, and anything shot at night/shrouded in darkness (which, thankfully, comprises a good chunk of the film)...
Also, it should be noted that the 3D glasses included with this release are much too small for the average adult's head! Consequently, one would do well to acquire a typical pair of red/blue 3D glasses from another source. And to that end, might I recommend Rhino's VHS release of Robot Monster? It includes two such pairs... and is a laughably terrible movie, to boot!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Dinky Reviews!
The Happening (2008). Starring Marky Mark (sans the Funky Bunch), Cholo from Land of the Dead and the real-life sister of the actress who plays Dr. Temperance Brennan on TV's "Bones."
About the best thing that I can say about this movie is that it exists. That, and – in only the most literal of technical terms – it does, in fact, qualify as an actual movie (but only just barely). Never before (nor probably will I since) have I seen a film that just shows up, fails to engage the audience on any level (unless boredom counts), and then just as quickly leaves the screen... and all completely without explanation!
About the best thing that I can say about this movie is that it exists. That, and – in only the most literal of technical terms – it does, in fact, qualify as an actual movie (but only just barely). Never before (nor probably will I since) have I seen a film that just shows up, fails to engage the audience on any level (unless boredom counts), and then just as quickly leaves the screen... and all completely without explanation!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Dinky Reviews!
Mirrors (2008). Starring Jack Bauer, George Romero's Bruiser and the butt of Amy Smart from the Crank series!
A lot of people have said that they have a problem with the way this film ends. Not me, though... I thought it was neat!
Now I just wish that the thing had earned enough money to warrant a sequel. Oh well... I guess that's what my imagination is for!
EDIT: Yes, I am aware of the since-released direct-to-DVD sequel - but considering that it has about as much to do with the first film as Amityville Dollhouse had to do with its parent series? Well, somehow I think that I'll give it a miss.
A lot of people have said that they have a problem with the way this film ends. Not me, though... I thought it was neat!
Now I just wish that the thing had earned enough money to warrant a sequel. Oh well... I guess that's what my imagination is for!
EDIT: Yes, I am aware of the since-released direct-to-DVD sequel - but considering that it has about as much to do with the first film as Amityville Dollhouse had to do with its parent series? Well, somehow I think that I'll give it a miss.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Dinky Reviews!
Drag Me To Hell (2009). Starring Darry from Jeepers Creepers, and that one character actor who plays a nerdy guy in lots of things. Also an enchanting, heretofore unknown to me young actress, Alison Lohman.
First of all, I just wanted to go on record here: I, K. W. Snyder, love gypsies. Seriously, I love you guys... all you guys! I want to personally hug each and every one of you! (Note: For those of you who don't want and/or like hugs... would a firm handshake and a pat on the back do instead?)
That said (mild, vaguest SPOILERS)... the ending of this film? That took some serious chutzpah! Anti- animal cruelty people, however, would probably do well to steer clear of this one...
First of all, I just wanted to go on record here: I, K. W. Snyder, love gypsies. Seriously, I love you guys... all you guys! I want to personally hug each and every one of you! (Note: For those of you who don't want and/or like hugs... would a firm handshake and a pat on the back do instead?)
That said (mild, vaguest SPOILERS)... the ending of this film? That took some serious chutzpah! Anti- animal cruelty people, however, would probably do well to steer clear of this one...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Dinky Reviews!
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006): Starring Freddy Krueger - the real one (with apologies to Jackie Earl Haley, who was excellent as Rorschach in Watchmen). With a brief, blink-and-you'll-miss-it wordless cameo by Jason - also the real one (a.k.a. Kane Hodder). And Zelda "This house... is clear!" Rubenstein! Plus some other random dudes and dudettes.
Perhaps one of the most important films to arrive on the horror movie scene in years. Seek this one out, and see it!
Perhaps one of the most important films to arrive on the horror movie scene in years. Seek this one out, and see it!
Dinky Reviews!
My Bloody Valentine (2009): Starring John Locke's father, and that dude from Night of the Creeps (albeit in regretfully small roles). The rest are virtual unknowns.
Disappointing. Just a pale imitation of the original. All those people who've been saying that, when compared to Friday the 13th (2009), this one's the better redux? Well, they're wrong. They had a chance to deviate from the source material (with regards to the killer), thereby giving this thing its own identity... but they did their best to avoid it. It's too bad, then, that this is the one that got a stellar 3D transfer, whilst the same cannot unfortunately be said of Paramount's recent Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc...
And, perhaps worst of all: They did practically nothing with the Valentine's Day theme! In the original, it is inextricably interwoven within the film's plot. This thing, though, could've been named just about anything else with a few superficial changes! Guess then they would've lost the miner angle, though...
Disappointing. Just a pale imitation of the original. All those people who've been saying that, when compared to Friday the 13th (2009), this one's the better redux? Well, they're wrong. They had a chance to deviate from the source material (with regards to the killer), thereby giving this thing its own identity... but they did their best to avoid it. It's too bad, then, that this is the one that got a stellar 3D transfer, whilst the same cannot unfortunately be said of Paramount's recent Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc...
And, perhaps worst of all: They did practically nothing with the Valentine's Day theme! In the original, it is inextricably interwoven within the film's plot. This thing, though, could've been named just about anything else with a few superficial changes! Guess then they would've lost the miner angle, though...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Okay!
Apparently I'm supposed to be writing something especially witty here, so that this blog gets picked up and optioned as a possible screenplay!
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