Thursday, June 11, 2009

Technical advice!

If you're willing to futz around with your television's picture settings for about a half an hour, I've found that you can actually make the 3D effects on Paramount's Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc much more acceptable (although still pretty far from perfect)...

The stuff that works best? Lots of little things moving all at once (leaves blowing around, for example); movement in front of stationary backgrounds; folds in clothing; anything that's red (Vera's dress), blue (Chris' sweater) or green (Jason's shirt); inanimate objects, and anything shot at night/shrouded in darkness (which, thankfully, comprises a good chunk of the film)...

Also, it should be noted that the 3D glasses included with this release are much too small for the average adult's head! Consequently, one would do well to acquire a typical pair of red/blue 3D glasses from another source. And to that end, might I recommend Rhino's VHS release of Robot Monster? It includes two such pairs... and is a laughably terrible movie, to boot!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dinky Reviews!

The Happening (2008). Starring Marky Mark (sans the Funky Bunch), Cholo from Land of the Dead and the real-life sister of the actress who plays Dr. Temperance Brennan on TV's "Bones."

About the best thing that I can say about this movie is that it exists. That, and – in only the most literal of technical terms – it does, in fact, qualify as an actual movie (but only just barely). Never before (nor probably will I since) have I seen a film that just shows up, fails to engage the audience on any level (unless boredom counts), and then just as quickly leaves the screen... and all completely without explanation!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Dinky Reviews!

Mirrors (2008). Starring Jack Bauer, George Romero's Bruiser and the butt of Amy Smart from the Crank series!

A lot of people have said that they have a problem with the way this film ends. Not me, though... I thought it was neat!

Now I just wish that the thing had earned enough money to warrant a sequel. Oh well... I guess that's what my imagination is for!

EDIT: Yes, I am aware of the since-released direct-to-DVD sequel - but considering that it has about as much to do with the first film as Amityville Dollhouse had to do with its parent series? Well, somehow I think that I'll give it a miss.