A.D.D. - A Dork Defiant

HeroClix: Incredible Hulk figure reviews!

2012-01-09T09:45:00.006-05:00

Part 1.
I wrote the following in the hopes that it would help me remember, play and face the dials that I might see inthe Infinity Gauntlet Month One Event. Needless to say, all my work was for naught (despite largely overcoming my mostly incontrovertible introverted nature, I wasn't even awarded the so-called "Fellowship"/runner-up /congeniality prize) ... but there's no reason that you couldn't still benefit from the same instead!

Common Hulk has nine clicks. His best clicks are four and five – so try to hit him for two or three, and then hit him again hard. Consider Outwitting Charge first because he has no range, and then he won't be able to move-and attack. Offensively, Perplex down his defense – and defensively, Perplex down his damage.

Bruce Banner has five clicks. He only has Outwit and Toughness on his first click – so unless your opponent plans to transform him on his final three clicks, just finish him off quickly.

AIM Agent has four clicks. He has Perplex on his first two clicks, and gets Support after that – so do two damage quickly, because Support is only of limited usefulness in this set.

Hulkbuster Soldier has four clicks. With Armor Piercing versus figures that have four or more damage, he's a nuisance piece for sure – so knock him past his first two clicks of Running Shot and Toughness at your first opportunity.

Humanoid has four clicks. With no range, and no move-and-attack abilities (although he gets Willpower with The Leader), he can be safely ignored in the early game.

Hulk Robot has nine clicks. He's got Willpower, and his powers can't be Outwitted. His best clicks are clicks three, four and five, because he gets Charge. Try to just hit him for one, and then follow up with a big hit for four. Shape Change on his first click will make him hard to hurt at first. On click five, he loses Invulnerability and gets Toughness instead – so get him there quickly.

She Hulk has seven clicks. Although her best click is her second, she's going to bring the pain on each and every click. She loses move-and-attack on click three, and also only has Toughness for defense – so try to use that to your advantage. Hit her for four damage straight up, or Outwit her first-click Invulnerability and hit her for two.

John Jameson has five clicks. Your opponents will probably have already pushed him once to get to his Toughness and Super-Strength on click two by the time you get to him – so you will probably have to hit him for at least four to put him down for good. He's only 39 points though, so outside of him throwing objects for a long-range attack – or an opponent planning on transforming him into Man-Wolf on clicks four and five – he can safely be ignored.

Man-Wolf has seven clicks of life. Whatever you do, don't land him on clicks three and four! You'll just be doing your opponent's work for them. Either hit him for four up front, or hit him for just one and then follow up for three or more afterwards. If you've got Outwit, use it on Charge for his non-Star God clicks – then you can just avoid him. If you end up needing to get rid of him quickly however, remember that he gets two chances to dodge on his first click with Super-Senses and Shape Change.

Charging Punisher has six clicks. His defense is completely bare on clicks one and three – so try to either hit him for three twice; or for one, two, and then three. Don't let him base you, though, because he gets Blades on his last three clicks! Outwit his Charge to keep this from happening – or Blades, if it's already too late for that...

Psychic Blast Punisher, with six clicks, is the bane of our existence in this tournament. Eliminate him immediately – preferably by throwing objects at him, because he's got Combat Reflexes on clicks one and four. He loses Psychic Blast by click three – so make him your primary target until you whittle him down to that point.

Thundra has seven clicks. She'll be after your big gun with her special power – so do everything you can to keep her from basing your best figure. She drops down from Invulnerability to Toughness on click three – so either hit her for four up front, or Outwit her Invulnerability if you can. Be aware that she picks up Outwit on clicks five and six – and although she won't be a threat alone by that point, she can use it to make the rest of her team that much more dangerous.

Abomination has nine clicks. As one of the few figures with Aquatic in this set, he's going to be one of the characters to beat in tournament play. Defensively-speaking, the very first thing you should Outwit is his move-and-attack abilities (whether Charge, or Special Power); with Indomitable being a very close second. Offensively, he loses Invulnerability on click four (and Super-Strength on click five) – so barring a timely assist from Outwit, try to hit him for at least five up front. His final two clicks, clicks eight and nine, feature Regeneration – so either finish him off if you can, or Outwit it if you're able.

The Leader has six clicks. He's a very unusual character in this format. He's got an entire dial's worth of Outwit, a natural range of seven, and ranged attack powers on every click but his second. On his first click, he can use TK to move based characters away from him – so be cautious when not Charging to base him. He's also capable of dealing penetrating damage on his final four clicks (even up close, with Pulse Wave, on clicks three and four) – so he's always a potential threat until he's been eliminated. Take out his Mastermind fodder first, if at all possible – then hit him repeatedly for as much damage as you can.

Skaar has seven clicks. His dial's unusual in that, while his best clicks are his first two and his final two, the middle of his dial is relatively weak for the points. Every effort should be made to knock him onto his third click – on clicks three, four and five, he can safely be ignored. Be mindful that his defensive powers get bumped up a notch whenever he's adjacent to blocking terrain – which potentially gives him a chance to dodge on clicks one, two and seven. Oddly enough, his best click – click six – is his second-to-last: Charge, Blades and Exploit Weakness! Defensively-speaking, you should Outwit Charge whenever it appears.

Lyra has eight clicks. She's incredible for the points – and because of her Marquee write-up, everyone will be using her. She gets conditional Probability Control to re-roll her own attacks on her first four clicks! She's capable of dealing at least three damage for a whopping six clicks straight – and she doesn't lose Charge until click four. Barring Outwit to remove her first-click Invulnerability, you're going to need to hit her for at least five up front to really even weaken her. Defensively-speaking, always Outwit her movement powers... even Leap/Climb on clicks four through eight!

AIM Renegade has four clicks. Although he's a generic figure, you shouldn't under any circumstances underestimate the threat that he represents to your team! If your opponent places him next to a character that has range, this figure will be sharing the Hydra team ability and Enhancement on clicks one and four; and if if this figure is out on his own, he'll be pushed onto clicks two and three for cheap Outwit! Either way, eliminate him quickly – and always try to make room for this figure on your own teams.

A.I. Marine has four clicks. Although he can't hurt any figure with Invulnerability or better, he might take some players by surprise on this map with his Aquatic movement. After an initial click of Toughness, his defense on clicks two through four gets significantly better in close combat with Combat Reflexes – and he gets a chance to dodge on his final two clicks with Shape Change! Note that, although he becomes a significantly greater threat once transformed, he also loses Aquatic on Movement. However, he also boosts the AIM Marine Hulk's Attack value – so the likelihood both would be played together if pulled is also high.

Black Tarantula has seven clicks. He is capable of damaging figures with Invulnerability or better on every click except for clicks two and seven. He's got a single starting click of Invulnerability himself – so consider either Outwitting that, or else just hitting him for three (arguably his worst click). He loses Running Shot on click three, and picks up Charge instead – so Outwit Charge to keep him from basing you, or Blades if he already has. Outwitting his Special Power on Movement on clicks five and six is a no-brainer if he's already in base-to-base contact; otherwise, Outwit Regeneration on clicks six and seven, so that he can't heal. Don't forget that he's also got a range of six!

White Tiger, with six clicks (and the possibility of four more), is going to be a difficult figure to deal with in this format. A Stealth'ed Perplexer (albeit one with no other defense) on clicks one and two, your first inclination might be to base her – but beware, because she becomes an insane close-combat juggernaut on clicks three through six! At that point, your best option will probably be to peck away at her from a distance with thrown objects, etc. Try your best to get her onto click five as fast as you can, as soon as you can – if your opponent still has some other good figures in the game, then he'll be a lot less likely to bring her back into play! If you wait until she's the last figure standing, however, he'll get no penalties for having done so...

Uncommon Daredevil has six clicks. Knocked past his first click, he loses Outwit – which, with only two Damage of his own, he'll be using exclusively to help out the rest of his team. He loses move-and-attack by click three – and with his range of four, you can afford to save him for last until you've dealt with the rest of your opponent's team (although he does regain Outwit briefly on click five). There are several reasons why it would be best to attack him from range (Combat Reflexes, Close-Combat Expert and Super-Senses that deals damage if you miss) – but you shouldn't let that keep you from finishing him off if you get the chance.

Matt Murdock has five clicks. Only his first two clicks have Outwit – so try to hit him for at least two damage if you can. Beware of opponents planning to transform him into Uncommon or Rare Daredevil on clicks four and five! There are, however, two sets of circumstances under which you might want to consider playing Matt Murdock yourself: 1) he ends up being your only real option for cheap Outwit, and keep Uncommon Daredevil on the sidelines to potentially transform into; or 2) you can play both him and the Rare Daredevil together!

Uncommon Punisher has six clicks. Outside of clicks four and five, which both have Ranged-Combat Expert with two Damage, this Punisher can't even hurt the Invulnerability plus set – of which there will be many in this format. Remember that he has has an eight range though, so that you can keep your more fragile pieces out of harm's way. Needless to say, just keep him away from clicks four and five – and ignore him until all greater threats have been eliminated.

Jigsaw has five clicks. With an entire dial's worth of Willpower, he can act two out of every three turns – which makes him great on your own teams for just 35 points, but not so hot on your opponent's. Try to keep him off clicks three and four, which have Blades – otherwise finish off bigger and better figures first, because they're worth more points.

Rick Jones has four clicks. He's a wildcard, which is worth remembering if your opponent plays him alongside either Rare Daredevil or Ghost Rider. Although your opponent will probably push him to get Perplex on click two, remember that it will only take three damage to eliminate him at that point. After Toughness on his first click, he picks up Combat Reflexes on clicks two and three – by which point it would be best to either hit him from range, or ignore him outright. Absolutely consider playing him with A-Bomb, if you pull and decide to use the latter.

Hercules has eight clicks. He only has a single click of Super-Strength – so either Outwit his Invulnerability before you attack, or try hitting him for only three damage. He gains Impervious on clicks three and four, but he loses move-and-attack abilities on those same clicks – which means that, although you'll be safe from reprisal, you'll probably still have to eliminate him to win the match. He regains Charge (but drops to Invulnerability) on clicks five and six – and he also picks up Willpower on clicks six through eight, to keep attacking you turn after turn. Do everything you can to stay out of base-to-base contact with him – which may mean Outwitting Charge instead of Invulnerability on the clicks that he has both.

Amadeus Cho has five clicks. He has Outwit on all of them, except click four – he gets Probability Control on that click (and potentially on his first two clicks as well). He's got an entire dial worth of Energy Shield/Deflection – making hitting very difficult to hit at range. On clicks two, three, and four, he has Psychic Blast with a range of seven for one damage – which makes him dangerous, even for your figures with damage reducers. Although you shouldn't ignore immediate threats in favor of him, you should still try to eliminate this figure as soon as you're able.

Red Hulk has eight clicks. He's dangerous all down his dial – albeit somewhat less so when he hits his final two clicks, clicks seven and eight. Top dial, you'd have to hit him for seven up front (or six if you've got Outwit) to even decrease his threat level to an appreciable degree. He's got Outwit and full-movement Charge for his first three clicks – so if you can hit him for four up front (or three after Outwitting Toughness), you could land him on his least-dangerous click. Clicks five and six, however – with Charge, Impervious and Super-Poison – are his very best... so keep him off of them at all costs!

General Thunderbolt Ross has five clicks. I can't imagine that anyone would use him except in conjunction with the Red Hulk – but if they should, he's completely useless by click three when he uses Willpower. He can transform into the Red Hulk on clicks four and five, though – so be careful not to do your opponent's work for them.

Doc Samson has eight clicks. Again, it is highly unlikely that your opponents would use him in this format – but there are some things you should be aware of about him, just in case they do. He grants nearby friendly characters immunity to Outwit throughout his entire dial – so it may be worthwhile to take them out of the equation first. He doesn't gain his Super-Mind Control power until click three – and with zero range and no move-and-attack powers until his final two clicks, he can safely be avoided until you're ready to face him. Remember that Mind Control has a default range of four – so hang back further than that, and try to hit him from range if you can. And don't trust that your opponent wouldn't willingly take feedback damage just to Mind Control your big guns either!

Rare Daredevil has seven clicks. This figure is going to see a lot of play thanks to his glowing Marquee reviews write-ups – so your need to learn his dial will be two-fold. First, and most obvious, is that he's a Mystic – so if you're going to trade clicks with him, you'd better be damn well sure that you're doing more than just one damage! With a range of zero (except for clicks four and five, when he picks up Mind Control), and an entire dial's worth of Exploit Weakness, you really need to attack him from range if at all possible (even if you have to use up an object to do so)! By click four he loses Leap/Climb and Super-Senses – but he does pick up Toughness, so keep that in mind. His best click is his second, which your opponents will probably push to – so attack him with impunity from that point forward.

Shanna the She-Devil has five clicks. The thing about her is, her potential damage output is much higher than her point cost of 45 would otherwise suggest – so you underestimate her at your own risk. You'll have to attack her in base-to-base contact on her first two clicks if she's in hindering terrain – but she's got three clicks of Blades, and boosts her damage by one when you do so... However, she's one figure where it really pays to play keep-away: She has no way of dealing damage from range on her first two clicks, and can safely be avoided on those. She does pick up Charge and Willpower on clicks three and four, however...

Tiger Shark has eight clicks. With Aquatic movement, and move-and-attack powers on ever click (the first four of which being full-move Charge), he is absolutely one of the three figures to beat in this tournament. If you do end up facing him, Outwit his Movement powers each and every turn if you can. He loses Invulnerability by click three, and finally drops down to just Super-Senses by click seven – so don't be reluctant to press the attack... especially considering that, with the Masters of Evil team ability, he can attack you each and every turn that he's in play!

Man-Beast has eight clicks. He's got such an unusual dial layout and set of powers that he's going to be the most difficult figure to get a handle on how to play well against in this tournament. Absolutely be sure to eliminate his Mastermind fodder before you attack him, if you can! It's a toss-up as to whether your opponent will keep him in Stealth, with Blades, on his first click; or opt for Outwit, Psychic Blast and condition-specific Mind Control (with a range of six) on his second click; but either way, his Defense gets bumped up to Invulnerability on clicks three and four! When he finally loses Outwit on click five, he's much less dangerous – but you shouldn't count him out entirely just yet! On clicks six, seven and eight, he alternates between Psychic Blast, Blades and a final click of Psychic Blast, respectively – so try to hit him hard on his first two clicks, and then beat a strategic retreat.

Wolverine has six clicks. At only 70 points, with two opening clicks of Exploit Weakness, he could potentially be this set's giant-slayer... if he got a move-and-attack ability before click four, that is! As is, with zero range you can safely ignore him while keeping him from basing you, and/or just attack him from range. When you do hit him, try to do just three damage (two if you've actually bothered to Outwit his Toughness) – he picks up Charge and Blades on clicks four and five! Speaking of Outwit, be sure to Outwit his Regeneration on clicks five and six – that way you can knock him out and gain victory points for having done so.

Joe Fixit has eight clicks. At fifty points less than the Common Hulk, he does still bring some interesting powers and stats to the table. His first click is his best click by far – it has Charge, Super-Strength, Invulnerability, 4 Damage and 11 Attack – so when facing him, knock him off his first click immediately. Beware his ability to throw objects with an added Incapacitate effect on clicks two, three and four! He's got a move-and-attack ability on every click except for three, four and eight – so it may be worthwhile to Outwit these to keep yourself safe. Don't help your opponent by knocking him onto click eight, which has Regeneration – you'd just be doing him a favor! Get him to click four, where he trades Invulnerability for Toughness, and you shouldn't have much more trouble out of this figure for the rest of the match.

Ghost Rider has seven clicks. Like Rare Daredevil, hes got the Mystics team ability – but unlike that figure, you may actually want to target this character first. Here's why: If you didn't damage any of your opponent's other figures the turn before, then the Penance Stare Special Power doesn't work. This figure's best click is his third – it's got high combat values, Charge, and Invulnerability. With only Toughness to protect him on his first two clicks (and again on clicks five and six), try your best to bypass his Invulnerability clicks (clicks three and four) entirely. Don't forget that Ghost Rider, despite not having his bike, has a range of four – and that he gets Regeneration on his final click, click eight!

Spider-Man has seven clicks. The Spider-Man team ability could make him a nuisance to deal with if he's been paired with either Rare Daredevil or Ghost Rider. He does have a range of four with two bolts – and he's got Leap/Climb on every click except his last one, click seven – so you will have to decide whether or not it's more advantageous to attack him from range on the fly. Beware clicks four and five, which have double Incapacitate – it's got the potential to rob you of actions, and can hurt even Impervious figures that are still vulnerable to pushing damage. Outwit Super-Strength on clicks one and seven; Incapacitate on clicks four and five; and Super-Senses when you need to be sure of hitting him, and you'll be fine.

Caiera has seven clicks. With four opening clicks of Charge, she's immune to knockback damage for more than half of her dial. She's also got three clicks worth of Impervious, followed by four clicks of Invulnerability – which means that she reduces all damage dealt to her by two, when she doesn't avoid it outright. She's got Indomitable – making her a threat on two out of every three turns. She can make otherwise mediocre figures exponentially better by giving them and 18 Defense when in base-to-base contact – and that's a Trait, which can't be Outwitted. She picks up Perplex on click three; Steal Energy on click four; and Close-Combat Expert on click five. She even has a range value of three – so be sure not to forget about that!

A-Bomb has eight clicks. Like Caiera, his entire dial features Invulnerability or better (Impervious on clicks one, two, and three; Invulnerability on clicks four through eight) defense. He's also got protection from ranged attacks (but not from Outwit) whenever he's adjacent to walls or blocking terrain. In addition, he gets straight-up Stealth on clicks three and four – and Exploit Weakness on clicks three, four, and five, to make sure that the damage he deals up close actually sticks. With a range of zero, it's crucial that you Outwit his Charge on clicks one, two, five and six if you can. By clicks seven and eight, he drops down to Leap/Climb – so attack him from range at that point, because he can break away automatically from your big guns. Also try to remember that he does not have Indomitable – so try to use that to your advantage.

Ka-Zar has six clicks. With a range of five, he can't simply be ignored to start out with, like Shanna the She-Devil can. Two clicks of Stealth up front guarantee that he's going to be planted firmly in hindering terrain – but he's even more dangerous up close, due to an initial click of overlapping Blades and Combat Reflexes. His most vulnerable clicks are clicks three and four: He keeps Blades, but picks up Leap/Climb to break away – and he only has Super-Senses to protect him. Take care not to knock him onto clicks five or six – he gets Stealth back, and has a wicked combo of Psychic Blast and Close-Combat Expert to ensure that he's dealing damage at range or up close. Try not to forget that he has the Duo attack ability available to him as well.

Black Bolt has 10 clicks. He leaves room on a team for 107 points worth of other figures – as if he wasn't dangerous enough on his lonesome! With flying, three bolts, 9 range and Sharpshooter, he is absolutely one of the top three figures to beat in this tournament. Even Outwitting his Silent Scream Special Power on clicks one, three and five is no guarantee of safety – he can simply push to pick up Psychic Blast on clicks two, four and six! Basing him is no good – Pulse Wave ignores adjacency, and the Sharpshooter ability ensures that he can even make a ranged attack in base-to-base contact. With two starting clicks of Impervious – and Invulnerability on clicks three, four, five and six - it's going to take everything you have to defeat him. Be sure to Outwit his defense before launching an attack against him with your big gun – you don't want him to avoid a big hit for six or seven by getting his Impervious roll, after all!

Outback Hulk has 10 clicks. If you remember nothing else about this figure, it should be that you must not, under any circumstances, land him either on or near click ten! I don't care if you've got to push to KO one of your own figures, it'll be worth it if you can knock him past that last click. The rest of his dial's no slouch either: He's got Indomitable; he can hit at range or up close for penetrating damage on clicks two, three, four and five; Toughness doesn't show up until click six of his dial; and he regains Impervious on clicks four and five! He's got move-and-attack abilities on his first four clicks – though it may be prudent to Outwit his defensive powers (which are as follows: Impervious on clicks one, four and five; Invulnerability on clicks two and three) and eliminate him as quickly as possible.

Red King has 10 clicks. Remember that, as a giant, you should always have line-of-sight to him for Outwit and/or ranged attacks. He treats figures up to three squares away as though they are adjacent – which is crazy-go-nuts with his special knockback power that deals two damage to any figures who bump into each other on clicks two, three, four and five! In order to keep yourself safe, you should Outwit his Charge first on clicks one, four and five; and then his Impervious on clicks one through three, and Invulnerability on clicks four, five and six (in that order). Remember that he does not have Indomitable – so if you take away his move-and-attack abilities, he's going to have to push to even damage you, if you keep a safe distance away from him!

Cosmic Hulk has 10 clicks. If you see one of your opponents pull this figure, then pack as much Psychic Blast and/or Exploit Weakness onto your team as you can. Remember also that his Power Cosmic team ability renders all your Outwit useless – so don't overpay for that ability, just to have it on your team! He's got a range of five, and Running Shot with a 10 on Speed for his first two clicks (and Hypersonic Speed, of all things, on clicks five and six) – so do everything in your power to keep your big guns at least eleven spaces away from him, if he can take an action next turn (and with the Power Cosmic team ability, he probably can)! His least-dangerous clicks are clicks five and six – although he's still doing four damage at range with Hypersonic – and remember that, with no other figures on his team, there's absolutely nothing stopping him from using Pulse Wave on clicks three, four, seven and eight! He also finally loses Impervious on click five – dropping down to Invulnerability instead – so if you can wear him down to that point, then at least he'll no longer be able to avoid any damage you deal to him entirely... You've got an uphill battle ahead of you – so good luck, my friend!

(Note: I ran out of time to compose brief write-ups for the set's chase figures: the Hulked-Out Heroes.)

My Dark Side deck for Decipher's Star Wars Collectible Card Game!

2011-06-25T20:00:00.002-04:00

(last edited 6/25/11)

(Note: The following casual deck is NOT intended for use in serious tournament play. Also, it hasn't been play-tested yet!)

Dark Side

Starting (8):
Hoth: Ice Plains (v)
Prepared Defenses (v)
All Wrapped Up (v)
Combat Response (v)
Rise Of The Dark Lord (End This Destructive Conflict v)
Vader's Bionic Limbs (Physical Choke v)
Vader's Cape (v)
Vader's Mask (Vader's Eye v)

Locations (10):
Hoth
Hoth: Defensive Perimeter
Hoth: North Ridge
Coruscant
Coruscant: Imperial City
Coruscant: Galactic Senate
Dungeon (Jabba's Palace: Dungeon v)
Jabba's Sail Barge: Passenger Deck
Tatooine (Premiere)
Tatooine: Marketplace

Characters (19):
4-Lom
Boba Fett, Relentless Bounty Hunter (Quick Reflexes v)
Bossk (v)
Commander Praji (v)
Coruscant Guard (v) x2
Cyborg Commander, Hunter Of Jedi (Twi'lek Advisor v)
Darth Maul
Darth Sidious
Darth Vader, More Machine Than Man (Darth Vader v)
Dengar (v)
General Nevar (Commander Gherant v)
Guri (v)
IG-88 (v)
Jabba The Hutt (v)
Keder The Black (v)
Prince Xixor (v)
Veers (v)
Zuckuss (v)

Starships/Vehicles (12):
Blizzard 1 (v)
Blizzard 2 (v)
Blizzard Scout 1 (v)
Devastator (v)
Hound's Tooth (v)
IG-2000
Jabba's Sail Barge (v)
Marquand In Blizzard 6 (Prepare For A Surface Attack v)
Mist Hunter (v)
Punishing One (v)
Stinger (v)
Vader's Custom TIE

Weapons/Devices (5):
AT-AT Cannon (v)
Dark Jedi Lightsaber (v)
Darth Vader's Lightsaber
Fett's Blaster Rifle (Double Back v)
Maul's Lightsaber

Interrupts (3):
Double Back
Trample
Walker Garrison (v)

Events (3):
An Enemy Of The Republic (Dead Jawa v)
Bounty (v) x2

My Light Side deck for Decipher's Star Wars Collectible Card Game!

2011-06-25T00:10:00.011-04:00

(last updated 6/25/11)

(Note: The following casual deck is NOT intended for use in serious tournament play. Also, it hasn't been play-tested yet!)

Light Side

Starting (7):
Tatooine (Premiere)
Harvest (v)
Tatooine: Lars' Moisture Farm (v)
Lars' Hydroponics Station (Hydroponics Station v)
Lars' Vaporator (Vaporator v)
Maneuvering Flaps & Nick of Time (Maneuvering Flaps v)
Squadron Assignments

Locations (10):
Coruscant
Coruscant: Galactic Senate
Hoth
Hoth: Defensive Perimeter
Hoth: Echo Corridor
Hoth: Main Power Generators (v)
Hoth: Snow Trench
Spaceport Scoundrels Guild (Tatooine: Anchorhead v)
Spaceport Street
Tatooine: Watto's Junkyard

Characters (20):
Bail Organa, Father of Rebellion (Palejo Reshad v)
Beru Lars (v)
Biggs, Rogue Legend (Biggs Darklighter v)
Chewie (v)
Dack Ralter (v)
General Carlist Rieekan (v)
Han Solo, Courageous Smuggler (I've Got A Bad Feeling About This v)
Lando Calrissian (v)
Luke Skywalker, Rebel Hero (Captive Pursuit v)
Luke Skywalker, Strong In The Force (A Jedi's Concentration v)
Master Qui-Gon (v)
Mirax Terrik
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Learner (v)
Owen Lars (v)
R2-D2 (v)
Senator Leia Organa (Princess Organa v)
Senator Mon Mothma (Mon Mothma v)
Senator Padme Amidala (I've Decided To Go Back v)
Wedge Antilles, Legendary Rogue (Wedge Antilles v)
Zev Senesca

Starships/Vehicles (9):
Alderaan Consular Ship (Masanya v)
Booster in Pulsar Skate (Pulsar Skate v)
Gold Squadron 1
Red 2
Red 3 (v)
Red 5 (v)
Rogue 1
Rogue 2
Rogue 3

Weapons/Devices (6):
Dual Laser Cannon (v)
Luke's Bionic Hand (Bionic Hand v)
Luke's Blaster Pistol (v)
Luke's Lightsaber
Planet Defender Ion Cannon (v)
Qui-Gon Jinn's Lightsaber

Interrupts (4):
Beru Stew (v)
Desperate Tactics
Houjix
Sorry About The Mess & Blaster Proficiency

Effects (5):
A New Secret Base
Credits Will Do Fine
Echo Base Operations
Haven
Sai'torr Kal Fas (v)

Dinky Reviews!

2011-05-08T23:08:00.023-04:00

Thor (2011).

When I describe myself as an old-school Avengers fan, that isn't to say I've been one for some great length of time (unless six years seems like a lot to you), but instead to suggest that I'm primarily a fan of the old-school (i.e. pre- Brian Michael Bendis) Avengers.

Perhaps a bit of an explanation is in order. To make a relatively long-ish story short(er): My undergraduate thesis was a 36-page mock series bible for a hypothetical Marvel comic book series. I'd recently picked-up about half of the first Secret Wars from a nearby flea market - and I found myself fast becoming fascinated by Kang the Conqueror. I mean, what was this guy like when he wasn't relegated to the shadows of Victor von Doom?

I bought the Kang: Time and Time Again trade-paperback to find out - and I discovered that the eponymous Conqueror is primarily known as an Avengers villain. This led to my purchasing the Council of Cross-Time Kangs storyline from issues 291 to 297 of said team's series - and while I'd eventually go on to use him in my aforementioned academic proposal, I was no longer satisfied with just reading about Kang alone.

No, I was now actively tracking down anything Avengers-related - my wont for ascribing the modifier "old-school" to myself (due to Disassembled having rendered far too many of my beloved characters either functionally irrelevant, or literally deceased) notwithstanding! So what's my opinion of this movie, given that I'm sufficiently familiar with the source material?

In a word: It's awesome.

Seriously - this does a lot to redress my misgivings after the generally lackluster Iron Man 2! Sure, it isn't absolute perfection - Brain Blessed's absence alone is criminal (I would've even accepted John Rhys-Davies as Volstagg, instead of whoever it was that we actually got!) - but it's still by far the best cinematic outing we've seen from a Marvel character since Robert Downey, Jr.'s initial foray into the genre!

What more could you possibly ask for? How about an unexpected big-screen debut from a character who's going to figure more prominently into future films - and the now-obligatory bonus scene after the end credits as well!

Please, Just Hear Me Out...

2011-05-02T14:05:00.010-04:00

Game of Thrones (2011).
Part 1.

I've met many fans of author George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series over the years. I can count amongst them close friends, personal acquaintances, and even individuals whom I've never met, but have instead merely respected from afar - admiring them for the quality of all the work they have done. However, the rate at which I read straight prose is prohibitively slow - so I awaited this particular adaptation with much anticipation.

As I entered this fictional universe for the first time, my expectations were nothing short of outright loving the experience - and in the very first scene, a great deal of that potential had already seemingly paid off! Was what we just witnessed some form of necromancy... and if not, would there - or, dare I even suggest it, could there - be an alternative explanation forthcoming?

So the show was successful initially - quickly capturing my imagination, because the opportunities therein seemed to be truly endless. Could it possibly be that television audiences were about to receive the actual fantasy that had, for so long, completely eluded former 'fantasy-fiction' programming?

Granted, some dire wolves do eventually emerge further on into the first episode. In and of itself, this isn't so far-fetched - not when one considers that, as an extinct species of their more familiar modern-day descendants, these wolves could conceivably have co-existed with humans in this (albeit fictionalized) era. As for the rest - well, the uninitiated might easily mistake most of it as being part of some unidentified film belonging to the historical epic sub-genre.

Most, that is... but not all.

I've been struggling to find the right words to use - fumbling for the correct things for me to say - even now, as I'm writing this. There is one reoccurring thought, however - a singular idea that I keep mulling about, yet still remain unsure regarding the best method of expressing - so perhaps I should simply just say it: Your opinions really do mean something to me.... in fact, they matter a lot!

Whew - that was more difficult admission than I might have ever guessed! Still, at least I can rest a little easier in the knowledge that you can hopefully better appreciate it when I say the following: I didn't approach Game of Thrones with any negative preconceptions - nor were any overly-judgmental attitudes present on my part.

Instead I must confess that my expectations for the show were actually quite optimistic - in fact, I honestly believed that I'd have given it all due credit by now! So I'm left to ponder whether or not it's even worth it to jeopardize whatsoever positive regard other people have for me - to risk alienating myself from those individuals whom I actually care about - by expressing an opinion that's in any way contradictory to the one which is most commonly believed.

All of which is my way of saying (though it pains me to do so) that I cannot - in good faith, and with a clear conscience - give this program my unreserved recommendation.

(Work-in-progress - to be continued)

Randomly-Offered Musings!

2011-04-28T23:02:00.059-04:00

Although I was actually born in the mid-Seventies, I consider myself to be a child of the Eighties (and since my earliest recollections stretch back no further than 1979 at most, it would be disingenuous for me to claim otherwise!). And what a great time it was to be a kid! We (by which I mean boys... and all of the coolest girls, of course!) had the best action figures; the best cartoons, which were based on those action figures; and even the real Indiana Jones and Star Wars in movie theaters!

Now it's not as though I'm somehow completely unaware of the fact that subsequent generations have also enjoyed many of the same things that I did when I was younger (chronologically speaking, at least - I'm still just a kid at heart) - '80s nostalgia is seemingly still big business today, if modern filmmakers (and toy-makers - and um, clothing-makers? - and...) are any indication! But there is one facet of Eighties life which is fast becoming just as foreign a concept as 8-track tapes were in my own time: that most endangered species amongst dying breeds known simply as... the arcade.

Right about now you're probably thinking about that one mall you still occasionally go to whenever you find yourself getting bored with those other three malls - it contains a small arcade, after all! But there's a big difference inherent in its floorspace usage and the all-important price-per-play ratio therein.

I mean, when you really think about it... isn't that place pretty much overrun with over-sized cabinets easily two or three times the size of one standard arcade game? To say nothing about the similarly-huge gimmicky controllers (I haven't forgotten about old-school machines like Super Hang-On and After Burner - but back then those were the exceptions to the norm)...

And how much would you be willing to pay to play that racing game - a dollar... possibly more? Better get your quarters in order before you begin, in any case - you'll have to chip in again whenever you don't cross the finish line in first place (W. A. Stokins from Fuldigan, HA called - he wants his money back)!

No, I'm talking about real arcades here - the ones where your parents would give you a five-spot and set you loose every year on your birthday... and you'd never even play the same game twice, if you could possibly help it (and although I've also heard the horror stories about shadier establishments which would deal *ahem* mind-altering substances out of the back room, I was fortunate enough never to encounter any of them myself)!

Particularly-astute readers have probably already guessed that this series isn't exclusively based on any actual arcades from that bygone era. No, the focus is instead on the types of games that were typically contained therein - and what really needs to be said is that emulation doesn't have to be a dirty word!

First thing's first though - your keyboard just isn't going to cut it when it comes to taking on these classic ROMs! And to that end, might I recommend Tomee's SNES USB Controller? Sure, it might not accurately emulate the actual arcade experience without either a true joystick or those shiny red buttons (the jolly candy-like buttons!) - but I got mine so I could play console games that I already own on my home computer (but that's a discussion best left for some other time)!

So to start with, here are my Rules of Responsible ROM Usage - Arcade Edition (more like recommendations, really - but would you buy a list called "Suggestions of Responsible ROM Usage"?)!

(Note: I might have unintentionally left out something important - so I'll remove this notice once I've figured out whether or not I actually remembered everything I really wanted to include...)

If - after successfully cross-referencing Wikipedia's "List of arcade games" article with arcade-museum dot com's Killer List of Video Games (better known by the acronym KLOV) - you've determined that the following criteria have (or have not, as the case may be) been met, it is morally permissible (if not always, in the strictest technical sense, legally well-advised) to download arcade game ROMs for personal use in emulation:

1. You already own a legitimate copy of the ROM in question.

Although this applies just as much to arcade games as it does with console titles, it's not going to come up quite as often. I mean after all, why would you ever play something on your PC when you could just as easily do the same on your big-screen TV - and with an Xbox 360 controller to boot? Still, the option's there if you need it - and I actually have a practical, real-world example of the same:

I own a copy of Capcom Classics Collection Vol. 2 for the Playstation 2. However, the spindle inside the case was just too big - which created small fractures radiating outwards from the middle of the disc. This, in turn, effectively rendered the game unplayable - but when it was working, it gave me the ability to play the twenty included titles in emulation on my PS2. Shouldn't those rights also extend to my laptop as well?

2. At no point has the game ever received an official release, in any format whatsoever, for your current country of residence.

Basically what it all boils down to is this: Is there now, or has there ever in the past existed a means by which an average individual might reasonably have rendered payments due to all responsible parties for the rights to play this particular game?

Here's one qualification which is actually easier to investigate with arcade games than it is for those titles only intended for home use. Could it have ever conceivably appeared at your local arcade - and if not, was it ever ported over to any of the home consoles? Well, that last part's gonna be a little bit trickier.

First thing's first: You're gonna want to check out Wikipedia's "List of Playstation Store games;" the "List of Xbox Live Arcade games;" and the "List of Virtual Console games," in addition to the two sites mentioned previously.

This rule also applies to Neo-Geo titles as well. I know that it's tempting, what with those games being so expensive otherwise - but the fact remains that none of SNK's home systems have regional lock-outs. What this means is that any Neo-Geo console can play any game ever designed for the system - regardless of where the title was first manufactured and/or distributed.

3. The game was released for arcades in your area - but it was never made available for home use (or else it was only ever offered as such in other countries).

As the old saying goes, "I would if I could - but I can't, so I won't." To better illustrate my point, I offer by way of example my all-time favorite video game (that's including both arcades and home consoles): Taito's Night Striker.

If some place nearby still had that machine... well then, I probably wouldn't even be writing this right now! Instead, you'd always be able to find me right there - spending all my time, and most of my money on it. I love Night Striker so much, in fact, that I even imported it for the Japanese Playstation... despite my having no way of actually playing it!

Clearly the issue here isn't my unwillingness to pay... it's my complete inability to do so. Emulation represents my only viable option for playing this game at present - it isn't even available on any of the Taito Legends compilations!

So don't let considerations such as these keep you from ever experiencing what are some truly incredible titles - for instance, all the best shoot 'em ups ("shmups" to those in-the-know) were only ever released for Asian markets...

4. The available home versions are all vastly inferior to the arcade original.

This one's clearly debatable, because so much of it is based on personal judgment. Caution, however, is always advisable in any situation such as this...

Before the release of Midway Arcade Treasures 2 in 2004, I'd always considered NARC to be the unofficial poster-child for this particular phenomenon. Perhaps the title should now be passed onto 1981's Vanguard? But just in comparison to its Atari 2600 counterpart, of course.

Thanks for reading - and please, keep on reaching for those high scores until the next big installment of Randomly-Offered Musings!

Dinky Reviews!

2011-04-11T01:38:00.011-04:00

Source Code (2011).

When it comes right down to it, there's just one thing you wanna know about Source Code.

I can't blame you - I'd been wondering the same thing myself.

Got part of my answer when I finally noticed it was from director Duncan Jones - the man behind 2009's Moon. This inexplicably isn't mentioned in any of the film's advertising. Had I known this sooner, I myself - and doubtlessly others like me - probably would've seen it on its opening weekend.

Moon's theatrical run was extremely limited. Because of this, the film remains relatively unknown amongst general audiences - at least in comparison to the wide releases which most other movies receive. So focusing on Jones as the director might only have appealed to what otherwise would have been a very narrow - albeit also a vocal, and supportive - market.

And yet, none of this is the worst offense committed by the film's ad campaign. For that, we must travel back to the aforementioned question - which, in the simplest terms, is this: Is Source Code really just 2006's Déjà Vu all over again?

I'm glad to report that the answer is a resounding no. While the director's sophomore effort fails to achieve the same dizzying heights of his first film, Source Code does manage to rise above most of the unfortunate comparisons that one could make (for instance, the Nicolas Cage movie Next).

Are there any other films which might arguably tackle similar issues in a more satisfactory manner? Sure, I might make a case for Los Cronocrímenes/Timecrimes being better - but that's apples and oranges, really... and both films are ultimately enjoyable on their own merits.

In summation, while Source Code is unlikely to ever change your world, at least you should still leave the theater feeling entertained... and, more importantly, not at all like you've wasted your time and money (and in the end, isn't that what really matters?)!

Top Ten!

2011-04-04T19:18:00.011-04:00

Quotes to live by.

"All will be well." - Brother Bro'Dee, Saint Walker of the Blue Lantern Corps

"If you change the way you look at things, it changes the things you look at." - The Signal

[paraphrased]"NO! This world is illusion! STRESS is illusion! The illusion can be --
-- TRANSCENDED!" - Dr. Stephen Strange, "Into Shamballa"

"Always remember: Your focus determines your reality." - Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master

"I ain't got time ta bleed." - Blaine, Predator

"Just do your best, and don't worry! The way you watch yourself is oh, so unfair..." - Morissey, "Do Your Best And Don't Worry"

"I REFUSE to accept (that) this is a no-win scenario!" - Richard Ryder, officer in good standing with the Nova Corps

"WE ARE STILL HERE!!!" - Morpheus, The Matrix Reloaded

"Listen close to me: Anything can happen, child - anything can be." - Shel Silverstein, "Listen to the Musn'ts"

"Why can't I be that guy?" - Me.

Will I EVER get noticed?

2011-03-28T00:30:00.007-04:00

I was just going through one of the other blogs that I follow ('Follow?' What's that, Kit?) when I ran across the following line:

"It (Magic: The Gathering)'s been around forever. I actually built a deck in 1995..."

Hey - what a coincidence! It was during that same year - my first terrible semester as a college undergraduate - when I...

"...when I was in fourth grade."

...and suddenly, all of the big words that I usually rely upon so heavily failed me completely.

Still, I'd already been pondering such things lately - and as these thoughts now seem to be particularly important: What does my voice bring to the already-overcrowded community of online commentators that could possibly be at all unique, anyway?

And how can I ever hope to achieve any sort of relevancy in comparison to the sheer magnitude of all the other work that's already out there - competing with the dedicated websites which exclusively feature the talents of those aforementioned creative young people?

At any rate, I hope to explore these issues more thoroughly in the weeks to come. Seeing as though I have very little time at present for anything other than my job and my continued education, for the moment I guess I'll just have to label my further ramblings on the matter as merely being works-in-progress.

The Grouchos!

2011-03-22T22:30:00.027-04:00

Best Supporting Actor - 1970.

It's true - Burt Young should've won Best Supporting Actor.

Now I know what you're thinking: Rocky, right? "Hey, Paulie!" and all that?

Actually... no. No - not Burt Young as Paulie.

Not even Burt Young as Burt Young! But now I'm getting ahead of myself.

Sites across the internet - as well as the various pop culture publications and/or other entertainment-related magazines that once ruled newsstands in that era wherein big print media was still the undisputed king - have long conjectured as to any surprise 'snubs' and/or outright omissions which are made whenever the Academy awards its chosen recipients.

This is not one of those films. While I suppose that I like it well enough myself, this really isn't some hidden gem - no lost treasure here, simply waiting for the chance to be rediscovered by a more receptive and appreciative audience...

In fact, there's no real reason to believe that the Academy even saw 1970's Carnival of Blood. And I don't just mean during the year of its original release!

No - I mean that it's likely that they never saw Carnival of Blood AT ALL.

And who could really blame them? What little information exists online about this film - i.e. its IMDb entry - is threadbare; and its wiki? Completely nonexistent.

You know how they added all those fake film scratches, emulsion bubbles and excess 'dirt' to the virtual negative of Rodriguez and Tarentino's Grindhouse to make it look more period-accurate and authentic?

Yeah - apparently every still-existing print of Carnival of Blood pretty much looks just like that.

So what, if anything, makes it worth recommending? Well, it is an interesting artifact from a time and place that I myself will never get to experience first-hand - i.e. the Coney Island amusements at their former absolute height. Similarly, the haunting refrain of the film's theme is one melody that's likely to stay with you for an eternity: "Carousels of my mind - of my mind..."

Also, if you're able to suspend your disbelief regarding an ordinary person having access to technology that even today still doesn't exist (you'll know it when you see it), then it actually makes for a halfway-decent little murder mystery!

And then there's John Harris - sorry, Burt Young - in the role of Gimpy. Say what you will about any other aspect of this film - literally anything at all! - but Young's performance alone is enough to make Carnival of Blood worth watching.

Seriously, the man elevates the otherwise-lowly character of Gimpy to such an extent that he actually becomes a legitimate work of cinematic art! And for that, Burt Young more than earns the Groucho for Best Supporting Actor of 1970.

Dinky Reviews!

2011-03-20T13:52:00.024-04:00

My sealed "brick" of Giant-Size X-Men HeroClix (+ 1).

It should have been terrible - in fact, I half-expected that it would be.

But before we get into that, let's talk for a moment about super-boosters. "Super-boosters" are the width and depth of two regular boosters - and they take the place of the same in each brick (you can also buy additional super-boosters separately - thus the aforementioned plus one). Each super-booster contains one of six possible over-sized HeroClix figures - so the more that you buy, the greater the risk you run of unwanted duplication.

So why were my expectations so low in this particular instance? Simply put, I'd done even better on my last go-around than I ever could've hoped for - and with the unwritten law of universal averages being what it is, I figured that my 'luck' was due for a downturn.

Now because any expenditure in excess of a hundred dollars isn't an inconsiderable one for me personally, I actually prayed extensively regarding the contents of both this brick and my previous one of DC 75th. This time however, my pleading was different: Instead of requesting the exceptional, I merely asked for acceptable.

The first and most obvious thing was the contents of my super-boosters. Would the same excitement for these over-sized characters that led to my ordering one extra turn around to bite me by my receiving two of the same non-generic figure?

No. I pulled Apocalypse - my first instance of said character. And Onslaught!

But what about the standard-sized boosters? Well, when my third of such yielded SR (Super-Rare) Magneto ("Playtime is ended," indeed!), I literally said to myself, "I don't even care what's in the rest of my packs!"

But somehow, I managed to open the rest of the packs anyway - and my efforts were rewarded with SR The Captain from Nextwave (however, I didn't get every character I need for the complete team - I'll have to pick up Monica Rambeau at some other time), and the SR Cyclops/Phoenix duo figure (or, if you prefer, Scott Summers and Jean Grey)!

So not too shabby, all things considered!

Dinky Reviews!

2011-03-19T19:15:00.000-04:00

Battle: Los Angeles (2011).

The plot is rather general for the genre - with the difference here being that this is really well made. Those who were disappointed with Skyline (amongst which I do not count myself, for better or worse) ought to love this... So while the military scenes of wartime sci-fi action might put one most in mind of a more-standardized Aliens - or perhaps even a less-topical District 9 - story-wise, there are no real surprises here. Still, the end result is an overall satisfying movie-going experience. That said, I would also imagine that the many explosions and sundry other special effects-work will lose much of their effectiveness on the small screen...

If the film has one fault, it is this: Some of the characters tend to run together, becoming difficult to differentiate from one another in the heat of battle. I'll admit that at one point, I thought one particular character had died... only for it to have apparently been somebody else completely when the aforementioned character shows up again, alive and well, some thirty minutes later. But don't let that discourage you if this sounds like the kind of movie you'd enjoy! I'd always recommend experiencing things for yourself, and formulating your own opinions on the same.

The Grouchos!

2011-03-05T18:26:00.001-05:00

Best Supporting Actor - 1981.

It perhaps isn't any great stretch of the imagination to propose that, by this point in time, most people likely recognize the Academy Awards for what they have sadly become: a near-total farce. Whatsoever merit legitimately exists is all too often ignored in favor of politics which have nothing to do with the actual films themselves, or the behind-the-scenes talent therein.

However, it should also be noted that this series of articles is in no way intended to denigrate the work of those few truly deserving recipients - it's just that, sadly, those are usually the exceptions to an unfortunate norm.

That said, the Groucho for Best Supporting Actor - 1981 goes to Jack Albertson for Dead and Buried. As William G. Dobbs, his performance was nothing short of masterful.

Like most of my heroes, Albertson had every good reason to give up. Even as he was dying of cancer, he kept his condition a secret so that he could continue to work. He refused to make excuses - and Dead and Buried ended up being his final film. I submit to you now that it was also most probably his finest performance.

Yes - surpassing even the role for which he is perhaps best remembered: that of Grandpa Joe in 1969's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Even if he had actually been nominated for the award (hint: he wasn't), he sadly wouldn't live long enough to witness the same. Jack Albertson lost his three-year-long battle with cancer less than six months after Dead and Buried was released. But still, he deserves to be recognized for his efforts - no matter that it's only happening now, posthumously!

So this Groucho is for you, Mr. Albertson - as well as for those who knew you in life, and all of the fans who love you. Because without you, Dead and Buried wouldn't have been what it turned out to be: my all-time favorite movie.

Please, Just Hear Me Out...

2011-03-02T00:42:00.013-05:00

DC's Countdown.

Look - I agree with each and every criticism that's out there regarding DC's Countdown (issues 51-27)/Countdown to Final Crisis (26-1)... except, that is, for one. Even then, I'll grant that the topic currently up for discussion was deeply flawed in execution - and a complete failure in actual practice.

I ask you, though: Why can't Jimmy Olsen's girlfriend be an alien woman with (largely superficial) insect-like features? True, the relationship between "Superman's Pal" and New Genesis-resident Forager was entirely mishandled - and to be sure, there's no reason that a humanoid insect should have ever been portrayed as being better-endowed than even Power Girl! - but still, the concept itself is sound.

Under a different and much-better creative team, this same material could potentially be fascinating! The two would literally be star-crossed (and, post Final Crisis, extra-dimensional) lovers! And in a world where it's already common knowledge that aliens do in fact exist, Jimmy (writing anonymously, one would assume) might just have a great new angle for a series of articles regarding his experiences with interplanetary dating, as well!

"Thank god she's still alive... and weirdly gorgeous!" Indeed, Mr. Olsen - indeed. So who can we get to rescue this one good idea from the retcon hell to which the rest of Countdown has been banished?

True love is in danger, Star Sapphire Corps! To arms!

What I Dislike About...

2011-02-20T21:45:00.015-05:00

Non-respondents.

There are actual gods of this particular craft - gods you can attempt to reach out to; gods you can try to contact through this electronic ether.

Here's the thing, though: You'll only be met by empty silence. Much the same as it is with any of their more-ephemeral counterparts.

I used to daydream so fondly about what it'd be like to contact an honest-to-God (see what I did there?) celebrity! Which one would it be? Ah, how I'd waste away the hours - imagining what it would be like to preface my correspondence with, regardless of cliché, the likes of, "You might not believe this - but this is the first fan-letter I've ever written!" And so I finally took the plunge.

What a fat lot of good it did me.

Look, I can't pretend that I'll ever achieve even the merest fraction of the renown that other internet personalities can rightfully claim. Heck, most of my site traffic comes from my having mentioned Magic: The Gathering a few times here and there... and that was almost two years ago!

I am, however, a full-time graduate student - as well as an unpaid intern. And at that job as it is with this, I am strictly a volunteer.

Unlike you, I don't get paid to create new material for the internet. Unlike you, I've never received even one single piece of feedback.

Yet even in that unlikely event I would still like to think of myself as being somehow capable of marshaling the tremendous effort requisite to typing up something like this: "Thank you for taking the time and the effort necessary to write to me, and for sending me this email."

And you don't even have to type in the return address! Or is hitting the 'Reply' button simply beneath you now?

Update archive:

2011-02-07T16:50:00.034-05:00

(last edited January 9th, 2012)
Formerly "Fugue state"

I've been super-busy lately - what with work, school, and getting ready for the big move next month!

In the meantime, I've been exploring in a much more thorough fashion the free print-and-play virtual expansions that now are available for Decipher's defunct Star Wars and Star Trek (First Edition, naturally) Collectible Card Games! The fine folks over at both the Players Committee and the Continuing Committee (respectively) deserve to be recognized for all their hard work - and I intend to give it my best shot!

I also want to direct the attention of all the fine folks who visit my meager site to edgeofhearing's Voyager Take 2 blog - for his is the uncanny ability to post one new weighty review every. single. day!

Another internet commentator actually responded to my posts recently! Because he deemed me worthy of acknowledgment, I'm once again working on fresh material for this site with a renewed sense of purpose.

And so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Nash for his thoughtfulness and consideration! However, I don't want to name-drop too egregiously (you know who he is already - he knows who he is already...) - lest I unfairly appear to merely be riding the coattails of his popularity, rather than my own.

At any rate, in a previous site update I mentioned that I'd worked for three days so far on an extensive dissertation of HBO's Game of Thrones - this much is still true. However, my distaste for the same has proven to be so palpable that - for the time being, at least - I'm merely going to post the material I've completed thus far as the first part of a series that will be completed at another time.

To whomever it was who did a keyword search for this site specifically: Thank you. For you at least, I will continue on.

At any rate, I've folded all the prior "update" posts in on themselves for the time being. Some of what has gone before will, at least for now, remain cataloged herein:

"Considering the scope of the tragedies that have recently befallen Japan - along with the accompanying near-unimaginable loss of life - I've been having an awful lot of trouble motivating myself to do much of anything lately... In the wake of more seeming signs of the apocalypse (the last being when hundreds of birds were inexplicably dying en mass), somehow updating my blog seems rather inconsequential in the grand scheme of things..."

"My creative energies having largely been knocked from me, like so much breath, as my crest has been in eminent free-fall ever since the events first alluded to in my most-recent 'Dislike' article..."

"If only the response were much greater! I can only imagine what it would be like if I were to receive any advice and/or encouragement from the rest of the internet commentary community. Then this situation might somehow reverse itself - but alas..."

"Potential forthcoming article content:

My imaginary internet friends!
Apocalypse How... and Why?
Tron: Legacy : Its inherent implications (regarding my nine remaining all-time favorite films receiving [more] sequels)"

Dinky Reviews!

2011-01-23T16:21:00.006-05:00

The Green Hornet (2011).

Here's a good movie - maybe even a great one!

Do you like superheroes? Do you like having fun? Are you not particularly beholden to any pre-existing Green Hornet continuities? Then have I got the movie for you!

Some may take me to task for my views, and take exception with my opinions regarding this film - but the fact remains that I myself had a good time with it, and was duly entertained.

This is Mystery Men for the next generation. I always regretted missing out on that one while it was still in theaters - but when I finally saw it, I became an instant fan right there on the spot!

But whereas that film was ahead of its time - hitting theaters well before the zeitgeist of 'modern superhero films as successful blockbusters' (having even debuted a year before the release of 2000's X-Men - let alone Spider-Man, Iron Man or The Dark Knight!) - The Green Hornet, in this current cinematic landscape, seems so far to be thankfully finding its own respective audience.

And it gives me added hope that if the slowly-germinating Ant-Man film ever does get off the ground - provided that Simon Pegg (or someone equally as talented) remains in the role (and especially if it's based on the Eric O'Grady/Ant-Man III incarnation of the character) - it could quite possibly turn out to be thirty-two different flavors of rad!

What I Dislike About...

2011-01-18T15:45:00.054-05:00

Missed opportunities.

There's a distinction that, to my way of thinking, I'd make between a missed opportunity and mere wasted potential (the latter having been discussed briefly in my Aquaman article). Although neglected thus far, the possibility still remains that Aquaman may someday be taken in those selfsame aforementioned directions. However, in the example that follows, perhaps the most difficult task - doing the actual work, and then setting everything into place - had already been accomplished. Regrettably, all of the preparation in this particular instance would never be used to any real advantage. Meanwhile, the subsequent actions of individuals not directly involved would only serve to further derail whatsoever benefit there might have been in actually doing so.

It was a little over a year ago when I first read Brian Reed and Lee Weeks' Captain Marvel: Secret Invasion - collecting as it did the Civil War: Rebirth one-shot, and also the subsequent Captain Marvel mini-series. I loved it. Here was a book that skipped right to the heart of that which should be monumentally important to every single one of us! Through its protagonist - Mar-Vell, hero of the Kree-Skrull War - we're taken along on a journey of mutual self-discovery. It allows us to question the very nature of identity: what it is that makes each of us, deep down, who we really are inside.

Are we the sum of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions... or of some combination thereof? And is our heredity - the sheer random chance of our genetic heritage - in any way connected to our unique state of being, our individual sense of self... or even, as some might suggest, our 'souls?' In this, Reed and Weeks achieved the seemingly impossible: They made Captain Marvel infinitely more fascinating than he'd ever been before. Naturally, I began extolling the praises of Captain Marvel: Secret Invasion to anyone who would listen - even going so far as to mention it in the same breath as Silver Surfer: Parable (which is very high praise indeed)!

But then I (recently) read the core title of the Secret Invasion company-wide cross-over event storyline - the mini-series of the same name by Brian Michael Bendis and Leinel Yu - and I made an unfortunate discovery: The intriguing thought-experiment begun in Captain Marvel: Secret Invasion also ended there. There would never be anymore follow-ups along those same lines - in fact, it was all jettisoned in favor of some Johnny-come-lately poseur character named Noh-Varr (just check out the guy's wiki - he's more of a wannabe Brood than he is a Kree)!

And, perhaps most disheartening of all: It turns out that, through it all, Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning have been wanting to use the Captain Marvel character themselves! So basically this whole endeavor (or fiasco, as I prefer) was just a clever way for Marvel's veritable unofficial creative director to officially say 'no' to two of the best writers at the entire company. *sighs*

What I Like About...

2011-01-17T16:05:00.007-05:00

Brightest Day Volume One.

The basic premise of Brightest Day couldn't be simpler: Twelve dead super-folks, consisting of a mix of both heroes and villains, are brought back from the great beyond by the Entity - avatar of the light of life itself, from which the White Lantern battery draws its power - to go on to serve some initially-unknown (presumably higher) purpose.

But why were these specific individuals chosen? Why were other, seemingly equally-deserving deceased superheroes not also returned to the land of the living - and why were there ever even any villains in the mix to begin with?

All of these issues and more are wrestled with by those who were resurrected to play some important role in the titular 'Brightest Day' that is still yet to come. And at the end of this first collection, these answers are indeed revealed... albeit in a typically-cryptic fashion.

Although the following example is also vague, I will not intentionally spoil which of the twelve characters received this particular revelation. Still...

[mild SPOILERS!]
(Paraphrased) "You have already done all that was required of you. Good job! Enjoy being alive again."
[/mild SPOILERS!]

Sure it's just a small thing... but man, is it ever cool!

Dinky Reviews!

2011-01-15T19:43:00.009-05:00

The Last Exorcism (2010).

What a profoundly stupid little movie.

I could've written a perfect ending for this film. And to make matters worse... they totally set it up for it! In fact, I'm almost completely certain that many others could, have and/or will reach the same conclusions that I have.

Therefore, I propose the following experiment: For those who haven't yet seen this movie, please go into it with the thought that there's going to be some huge twist ending... and then try to figure out what it's going to be beforehand.

Now, having done so: Do you see what I mean? I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees it... am I?

Addendum: Whenever this film debuts on the pay movie channels (i.e. I don't have to buy it specifically - I'll just run a tape instead), I'm going to try to make a point of actually sitting down and typing up what I myself believe - and those who agree with my personal assessment regarding the same will likely concur - would've been a much better (and, in a perfect world, a proper/the "real") ending!

And here I was, all ready to log on and declare this to be my favorite exorcism film of all time... *sighs for what might have been*

Dinky Reviews!

2011-01-11T19:45:00.039-05:00

My sealed "brick" of DC 75th HeroClix.

In HeroClix, a "brick" is a sealed set of ten unopened booster packs - in other words, half a case's worth of figures. HeroClix itself is a game wherein players use pre-painted miniatures representing popular comic book heroes and villains to square off against one another. As its name implies, the DC 75th expansion is a celebration of DC's seventy-five years of continued publication - albeit with an additional focus on the Blackest Night company-wide cross-over storyline.

As a customer, the brick that one receives is random - however, there is now a fixed structure of figure selection and rarity distribution within each individual pack therein as well. This is a relatively new advent with HeroClix releases - and, in my opinion, it is also a good one. For me, my reasoning behind this is simple: With the last expansion that I bought a brick from, DC Crisis, the contents were truly random. This turned out to be a problem for me because with that set, I only received two Super-Rare figures instead of three (which was the stated average amount). Not that big of a deal... until you realize that whoever bought the other brick from the same case as me ended up receiving a whopping five or six Super-Rares at my expense!

With DC 75th, I not only received three different Super-Rares - but I also got my guaranteed one-per-brick chase figure as well! However, this newly-fixed distribution within the bricks themselves has had regrettably unfortunate consequences for some other individuals, in that they purchased multiple bricks - only to find out later that they'd unwittingly bought the same one twice... right down to character selection and figure placement within every pack! For those like myself with limited budgets - those who only intend to buy a single brick - it shouldn't be a problem; but for anyone intending to procure greater volumes of product for themselves, I recommend proceeding with all due caution. There have also been reports of quality control issues concerning merchandise arriving in damaged and/or incomplete condition. I myself have, thankfully, seemingly sidestepped this issue in this particular instance.

I'm pleased to report that, overall, I'm quite content with my brick of DC 75th HeroClix. Although I'm a confirmed fan of the cosmic titles produced by both DC and Marvel, I knew going in that - realistically speaking - I would not be getting every Green Lantern-related character in this set. Now that I know which ones I already have on-hand, I can simply pick up additional figures on the secondary market. As far as Super-Rares go, I got: the Golden Age Green Lantern, Allan Scott - insanely good, gameplay-wise; the Golden Age Wonder Woman, one of the best versions of said character in HeroClix; and the first non-lantern, non-Crisis on Infinite Earths, non- Starro-slave incarnation of Barry Allen as The Flash. And, speaking of The Flash: My chase figure, Barry Allen as a White Lantern, has been described by authoritative HeroClix website HCRealms dot com as the "Best. Flash. Ever."

Additional musings:

Received two of every generic - except for, unfortunately, the Zamorons.

Six non-generic duplicates: 4 commons (Donna Troy, Crimson Avenger, Bart Allen and Green Arrow) and 2 uncommons (Queen Aga'po and Detective Chimp). Fortunately, whenever I get duplicates of non-generics, it usually makes up for one of the two having a truly horrendous paint-job (and thankfully, I didn't get any triplicates this time around).

Two common Dominators - yet no uncommon Ruling-Class Dominator to lead them. Similarly, no Solovar to guide my Gorilla City Warriors into battle. This situation will have to be remedied.

One of my two Easy Company Soldiers was in the same pack as Sargent Rock. Groovy.

One of these days, I'm going to need to pick up the super-rare Wonder Twins duo figure from this set in order to round out the Super-Friends!

I'm still missing three of the variously-colored Lantern guardians from the set. This includes, obviously enough, the super-rare Sinestro - I haven't got either of the Yellow Lantern incarnations of this character, and so Sinestro Corps Mongul will just have to suffice. I am therefore going to end up breaking down and purchasing Indigo-1, Carol Ferris and - sadly enough - a character that I totally love, Saint Walker, from the secondary market.

The issue isn't that I ended up getting Black Lantern guardian Scar - it's that, because of the overwhelming scarcity of other members of the Black Lantern Corps (at a rate of one in every sixty packs - that's a single figure per three cases! - from a previous HeroClix expansion, The Brave and the Bold), I'll probably never be able to build an actual team with two or more Black Lanterns...

I already owned all the good versions of Kyle Rayner, save for the limited-edition figure of the same name from the Collateral Damage expansion set, prior to this - however, the benefits available to this new version (post- Sinestro Corps War uniform, free telekinesis) guarantee that the new one will see some play from me.

What I Dislike About...

2011-01-05T22:30:00.001-05:00

Unresolved plot threads.

Although my long-standing disdain for this particular phenomenon extends to pretty much any blatant instance of such abject laziness in overall basic storytelling technique, it's only recently been brought back to the fore and generally exacerbated by my having read Marvel's cosmic titles - from Annihilation through War of Kings - in their near entirety.

In all fairness, it's not my intention to single-out comics as being somehow guiltier of this practice (or even necessarily doing so more often) than anything else presented via other types of media. To that end, I present the following example (one of several I can think of off the top of my head - and bearing in mind that I haven't watched this show for over a decade) from Babylon 5:

The through-line of the series (except for an unplanned-for fifth season - one wherein they received a new budget from TNT after the series finale had already aired, only for the now-renewed show to be constantly rescheduled and barely ever shown thereafter) is mostly a build-up to a war against an evil race of aliens known simply as "the Shadows" - with said war ultimately playing out during season four. Anyway, it's eventually discovered that the planet shown in the background of every medium shot of the titular space station is actually home to an ancient device of incredible destructive power.

It's just the kind of thing which might turn the tide of that aforementioned war! In fact, two entire episodes are devoted to securing the weapon, and restoring it to its former fully-operational glory. So it comes as somewhat of a shock when the war is finally over, and the realization sets in with the viewer... that this so-called "super-weapon" was somehow completely forgotten, and ultimately remained unused!

The mere mention of unresolved plot threads from Marvel's post-Annihilation cosmic titles probably brings one thing to mind most readily for readers: Wraith. Here was a character that was introduced during Annihilation's sequel storyline Conquest - one who even got his own self-titled mini-series - and he was intended to then function as part war veteran, part folk hero to his people (the Kree) immediately following the story's resolution.

Now imagine what it would have been like if Lando Calrissian hadn't shown up in Return of the Jedi... and he was never mentioned again. Yeah - dropping Wraith was kind of like that.

But lest you think that I'm unfairly beating up solely on the architects of Marvel's recent cosmic series - Giffen, Abnett, Lanning, et. al. - I actually wanted to instead focus now on something that's been bugging me ever since I read Secret Invasion: a company-wide cross-over event, albeit one with admittedly cosmic (re: alien) origins.

All the signs from an ancient Skrull prophecy - a legend which tells of the alien race successfully conquering Earth (and that, in and of itself, begs an additional question: Just how long have the Skrulls known about Earth, anyhow?) begin to come to fruition. And then, whenever something goes wrong throughout the course of the actual invasion that follows, the Skrull Empress almost immediately makes a comment along the lines of, "This too was foretold!"

Now, putting aside for a moment the many contingency plans that the Skrulls had in place long before this invasion had even begun (almost as though they were still unsure about the final outcome) - and somehow also ignoring the fact that, even armed with the requisite foreknowledge, the Skrulls dutifully went ahead and made the same mistakes that they surely must have already known they were going to make - and once you've slogged through this entire series, you're left with the following sad conclusion:

So the Skrulls' prophecy is seemingly one-hundred percent accurate - that is, up until the exact point where it turns out that [SPOILERS!]the Skrulls still lose.[/end SPOILERS!] And naturally, Brian Michael Bendis offers up no explanation as to why the prophecy upon which this invasion was so clearly predicated somehow manages to get the most important part wrong.

What I Like About...

2011-01-03T16:42:00.000-05:00

War of Kings.

If the original trilogy was intended to be the story of Anakin Skywalker's redemption, then surely Marvel's War of Kings must represent the redemption of Crystal.

Granted, I've read the explanation given for Crystal's status as co-narrator in Spotlight: War of Kings - but still, I'd like to imagine that it actually went a little something like this:

"You know who sucks? Crystal."
"Yeah, really."
"So let's take Crystal... and make her frickin' AWESOME!"

Seriously, I went into this storyline all ready to hate Crystal. Now, as it is with anything in which Jack "King" Kirby had a hand in creating (whether that be in whole, or in part), the potential was certainly originally there... but it had since been completely squandered by massive mishandling on subsequent writers' parts.

This was Crystal prior to War of Kings, in a nutshell: 1. Married Quicksilver, Magneto's son and long-time member of the Avengers, and bore him a daughter; 2. Conducted numerous extramarital affairs, both before AND after the birth of said child; and 3. Divorced Quicksilver after the fact, using the flimsy excuse that because she's royalty and he's a lowly commoner, they never should have even been married in the first place!

Ouch.

But under the watchful guidance of War of Kings collaborators Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, something wonderful happened: We were given unprecedented insight into Crystal's innermost thoughts and feelings, as they were occurring! True, any potential attempt at excusing Crystal's previous behavior was predestined to fail... so these guys didn't even try. Instead, they took a sort of 'from here on out' approach to writing her - almost as if to say, "That mess was all some other people's fault!" So what did we, as an audience, learn from this?

As re-imagined by Abnett and Lanning, Crystal has grown so much as an individual that she now truly cares about those in need - regardless of who they are, or how society sees them - entirely without any thought of herself. Meanwhile, her budding romance with Ronan the Accuser is truly heartfelt and honest - a fact that's readily apparent to most any reader who's ever been in love... and not at all the sort of forced and ultimately false relationship which one unfortunately encounters far too often in popular fiction!

Plus, you've gotta admit: When Crystal took control of that enormous stone statue, and had it mimicking her every move? That (and therefore, by using it in such a fashion against her enemies, she) kicked ASS!

What I Dislike About...

2010-12-19T04:20:00.000-05:00

Waiting.

Having to wait for anything good in life just plain sucks. Honestly, has there ever been even a single moment in all of human history when someone actually said to themselves, "Boy, I sure am glad I had to wait so long for that thing which I really wanted," or other words to that effect?

What I Like About...

2010-12-17T00:35:00.000-05:00

Kang the Conqueror (Part 1).

Given the benefit of hindsight equal to such a task, life seemingly has an odd habit of proving people wrong in the long run. And it is with just such an intention that I now post the following: Amongst the non- comics-reading public, Kang the Conqueror’s name is unlikely to ever attain a comparable level of recognition as widespread as that of Dr. Doom or Magneto. More's the pity, then, because I feel that Kang shares many of the self-same qualities which make Marvel's best villains all so memorable. The character exhibits a similar sense of majesty and grandeur, whilst also retaining that air of unspoken dignity in the face of tragic circumstances which ultimately renders him relatable to the reader.

Perhaps it is this aforementioned lack of a more general renown - both with non-fans, and sometimes seemingly even amongst Marvel's own creative staff (in regards to an almost criminal underuse of the character) - which helps to elevate Kang's status (in my eyes, at least) as something of an underdog. Nevertheless, to merely suggest that this character's back-story is both voluminous and convoluted, and simply leave it at that, would be a gross understatement. I'd be remiss in any attempt I could make to adequately summarize, in a more-or-less thorough manner, Kang's expansive history, extensive motivations and all his capabilities... Therefore, I'll instead try to focus on that one most-singular facet of the character which I personally consider to be the most fascinating.

Now as a fellow diehard fanboy myself, I understand all too well one's natural inclination to nitpick an article such as this for each and every incongruity and omission - but the constraints inherent to recounting, in text form, what is so fundamentally a visual medium (i.e. comics/sequential art) means that absolute, one-hundred percent accuracy in relation to the original source material was perhaps never even realistically achievable. Consequently, I must humbly entreat the reader to make certain allowances for whatsoever liberties I might take - whether inadvertently, or not - in the following retelling. In return, I shall spare you the headache of having to read about events which - in continuity - take place in the future, by referring to them using the past-tense (versus future-tense) instead.

In the 31st Century, Nathaniel Richards (distant descendant of the Fantastic Four's Reed Richards) lived up to the villainous epithet by which he is better known, insofar as managing to conquer the entire universe. Take a moment to fully consider all the implications of that statement: A lone human being subjugated - not just a single solar system, nor even a mere galaxy... but absolutely everything, everywhere.

And yet, even this was not enough. In what should have been his moment of greatest triumph, Kang instead lamented that his victory ultimately felt like an empty one. For although he now reigned supreme over all of creation, the one thing he had failed to capture... was the heart of the woman he loved.

What I Dislike About...

2010-12-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

Writer's block.

I mean, why would anyone ever willingly go on a guilt trip... much less one which is self-imposed? And yet, isn't that exactly what we as writers so often do? In our minds, the self-incriminations are two-fold: We lament our momentary inability to simply conjure up worthwhile new content and/or summon only the best words possible, whilst also condemning ourselves for expending precious time and energy on anything other than our specifically-chosen creative endeavors!

What I Like About...

2010-12-13T05:20:00.000-05:00

Marvel 1602.

Neil Gaiman's 1602 introduced a whole host of new storytelling grist for the figurative mill from which Marvel's writers and artists can draw upon: classic characters, re-envisioned through a filter of having originally been intended for the 'sandbox' backdrop of the year 1602.

And although that alone is incredible, in and of itself, it is not what I wish to focus on today.

If I might be given leave to do so, I'd like to preface the following statements by admitting that the pragmatic fanboy in me (now there's two words I never thought I'd see used together) well realizes that the actual rationale behind the following phenomenon was to facilitate Gaiman's literary 'shout-out' to Jack Kirby, by way of Devil Dinosaur (in lieu of the Mole Man's monster).

One of the more curious aspects of the hypothesized alternate history given by 1602 is the continued existence (albeit in greatly-diminished numbers) of prehistoric animals - dinosaurs in particular. It is presented as a universally-accepted fact - common knowledge amongst society at large, and not at all thought of as being in the least bit strange...

So how are there still dinosaurs - and why? Gaiman makes nary an attempt at offering up an explanation... but really, isn't it obvious?

They're there simply because dinosaurs are cool - and that (and, by extension, Gaiman) rocks.

Venting to the void:

2010-12-12T16:20:00.000-05:00

It used to be that Facebook was both a legitimate and permissible forum for all of my catharses. If I'd had a bad day, felt under-the-weather or so forth, I'd just pop on over to my account and post about the same in convenient, bite-sized chunks.

And then all of the sundry workplaces and various higher-learning facilities of this world seemingly started policing the internet in its entirety for expressions of honest opinion and pure thought.

So here I am, using an assumed name - shouting my ultimately insignificant concerns into an uncaring electronic wind.

Regarding Aquaman:

2010-11-15T21:27:00.000-05:00

Aquaman - or, more specifically, his near career-long status as the go-to whipping boy regarding his 'powers' (and the widely-held belief in the near-total lack thereof) when compared to his fellow superheroes. It has occurred to me that the cancellation of all his prior solo comic book series is most likely actually due to one thing: wasted potential. Aquaman should, by all rights, be the most bad-assed comic book there ever was!

Consider this: In outer space, it's pitch black. It's much the same on the ocean floor - although, for some reason, the ocean backgrounds in the comics are always shown as being blue... Both environments are freezing cold. The empty vacuum of space can make things explode - while all of the pressure at the bottom of the ocean instead makes things implode. And to revisit that aforementioned term, empty - well, asides from the odd cosmic-based character, outer space is largely just that: (empty) space.

It's not like that on the bottom of the ocean, though! There, teaming and unimaginable horrors exist - literally anything that the writers and artists could possibly conceive, because a) no man-made craft can yet navigate the absolute deepest depths of the ocean; and b) any life-forms that scientists bring up from such depths perish due to the immense pressure changes. Most of these creatures have razor-sharp teeth... and each and every one of them hungers to consume you, in only the most violent manner possible!

Proponents of aquatic characters have, in the past, often cited the much bandied-about statistic that seventy-one percent of the Earth's surface is covered by the sea. However, if one were to judge solely on the basis of every previous Aquaman series (and to be sure, Marvel's Namor the Sub-Mariner suffers this same fate as well), absolutely no one would ever guess that! This is because - seemingly without fail - writers always try and awkwardly shoehorn in plots that relate to the surface world.

Quick - name all of the protectors of Gotham City... heck, even Metropolis! Then name the oceans' defenders, at present, in the DC Universe (while also bearing in mind that Garth, formerly Aquaboy, is now deceased - and so is Dolphin for that matter). Yeah... there's something of a disparity there.

In truth, Aquaman should realistically (well, insofar as any fictional account of super-humans could ever be called 'realistic') be almost entirely unconcerned about life above the waves (although an exception can of course be made for issues pertaining to the impact that surface-dweller borne pollution has had upon the Earth's overall environment). Still, perhaps the best format for further Aquaman stories ought to be eleven issues dedicated solely to his underwater adventures... with only one (likely the now-requisite annual company-wide cross-over 'event' story) taking place on dry land.

That, at any rate, is just my two cents about Aquaman.

Remake madness!

2010-06-07T02:42:00.001-04:00

So they're thinking of remaking Videodrome. My question is: why? How could it possibly be made relevant to modern audiences when the old cathode ray tubes have largely gone the way of the Betamax cassettes which were also featured in the original film? Of course, this is where the smart asses of the world will pop up and suggest YouTube, or something similar... but it, like most internet content, is already available for viewing to the general public for free! So where does that leave James Woods' Max Renn character - who was, after all, the protagonist of the original film?

And speaking of Woods, the undeniable truth of the matter is that no modern-day cast could ever hope to even approach the perfection on display in the performances of Cronenberg's original! Even the director himself has moved on from his own body-based horror movies onto, regrettably, making much safer (and, sadly, more commercially-viable) crime thrillers instead...

One can only hope that this turns out to be another one of those projects which dies on the vine (and rightfully so), never having seen the light of day... but as long as rumors occasionally surface of planned "re-imaginings" (slaughterings, more likely) of the likes of Suspiria, and Escape From New York? Well then, my friends, we still have much to fear.

Green Lantern Crash Course Part 1:

2009-11-02T18:55:00.000-05:00

Hal Jordan: The Silver Age Green Lantern, and arguably the greatest of them all. He was off on ceremonial duties for his superiors when his home city - basically the DC Universe equivalent of San Francisco - was completely obliterated by Hank Henshaw (a.k.a. the Cyborg Superman). In his despair, he fell prey to a parasite called Parallax - a sentient entity comprised of the sum total of fear that's ever been felt in the universe - and slew most of the Corps (although some that he felt were insignificant, threat-level wise, he left for dead) and all but one of his superiors, the Guardians. He later redeemed himself via self-sacrifice to re-ignite Earth's dying sun. For a time, he became the Spectre - the embodiment of the full force of God's wrath on Earth - before being brought back to life a few years ago (in Green Lantern: Rebirth - essential reading, that)...

Kyle Rayner: The Green Lantern of Earth in the intervening years after Hal went insane/was joined with the Spectre. Was chosen at random by a dying Guardian to receive the last remaining power ring (Jordan, as the villain Parallax, had absorbed all the others). Became the hero Ion when that symbiont - the green equivalent of Parallax, albeit embodying willpower instead - bonded with him; subsequently resurrected Kilowog (who trains all the rookie corps members) and the deceased Guardians, and began to build up an entirely new Corps of fresh recruits and old retirees. Ion was forcibly removed from Kyle's body by Sinestro, and subsequently assigned by the Guardians to another Green Lantern who is said to potentially be a great hero in the forthcoming prophecy of the Blackest Night. Kyle is now one of the two Green Lanterns tasked with protecting the Guardian's home planet of Oa.

Guy Gardner: Guy was originally the back-up choice to receive Hal's ring if, for some reason, Jordan had been unable to do so. Personality-wise, he's an often angry, sometimes sarcastic, wisecracking windbag - but he is perhaps the Lantern's most tireless and relentless fighter, he tries to do what's right and is absolutely the one Lantern you'd want backing you in a fight. For a time, he used Sinestro's confiscated yellow Qwuardian power ring; then his DNA was re-written by aliens (turning his body into a living weapon), and he was known simply as Warrior. These alterations were later purged from his system by the villain Parallax; he was eventually issued a new green ring from the restored Green Lantern Corps. Now, along with Kyle Rayner, he serves as an honor guard - tasked with protecting Green Lantern headquarters on Oa.

John Stewart: John was perhaps most famously the Green Lantern featured in the Justice League/Justice League Unlimited animated series. Unlike on that show, however, John never had a relationship with Hawkgirl (instead, his wife was the now-deceased Katma Tui: a member of Sinestro's race, and that villain's immediate successor in the Corps following his expulsion from the same). Interestingly enough, John was a paraplegic in the comics when the television series first aired. Due to renewed interest in the character and his then new-found popularity, however, the writers gave him back his mobility. John inadvertently allowed an entire planet, Xanshi, to be destroyed during his watch. The sole survivor among that world's indigenous peoples - the planet's princess who, at that time, was undergoing off-world combat training - subsequently became the villainess Fatality.

Dinky Reviews!

2009-10-01T18:05:00.000-04:00

Children of the Corn (2009): Starring Dee from Battlestar Gallactica (modern version), and my all-time least favorite character from NBC's Heroes!

It sucked - it suuuuuuucked!!!

"But Kit," I hear you asking, "did it suck?" Why, yes - yes, as a matter of fact, it did!

The little kid they got to play Isaac wasn't a good enough actor to carry this movie, he wasn't scary... heck, he wasn't even the least little bit creepy-looking! And I know that He Who Walks Behind the Rows was represented by some truly laughable animation in the original - but at least in that version they actually bothered to show him...

And what was up with that ending? Dude, they totally should've ended it with the line, "Scarecrow!"

So was there anything good in this movie? Well, the two adults were all right, I suppose. I did like the Vietnam flashbacks - but that alone wasn't enough to save this miserable piece of garbage...

Dinky Reviews!

2009-09-07T15:12:00.000-04:00

Gamer (2009). Starring King Leonidis, and Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson. With bit parts for Q and Peter Petrelli.

There's a whole host of stuff in this movie that's confusing, makes no logical sense from a storyline standpoint, is never explained, or all three at once!

Big, loud and dumb is one thing. Leaving out whole swaths of information that's vital to the audience's comprehension of what's happening on-screen - whilst also failing to abide by any determinable set of rules as set forth by the film itself - is another.

For instance: [SPOILERS!]What was the deal with that guy who was killed three or four times, at least - yet somehow, by all appearances, kept coming back to life?

And what was up with the non-player characters (for instance, the woman dressed in traditional Islamic garb)? From what I could gather, a prisoner could earn their freedom if they survived just one day as an NPC... but even so, why did they turn John Leguizamo's character into one? As some form of punishment - simply for asking the guard for a little help?[/end SPOILERS!]

There's probably more that I'm forgetting... but suffice it to say: G'ah! This film made my brain hurt!

Dinky Reviews!

2009-09-01T05:00:00.000-04:00

Open Water 2: Adrift (2006). Starring people forced to act like complete idiots by a lame script.

What was that ending supposed to mean, anyway? Seriously, I haven't a clue...

This is a prime example of the sort of film in which characters are much more stupid than most people in real life would ever be. I'm talking about just general common sense here - not from the vantage point of the audience being given more information to go on than the characters themselves are...

I mistook the only visible part of a life jacket - inexplicably colored purple (likely in the hopes that people would make just that kind of mistake) - from the DVD's cover as being a tentacle of some kind. You can see where this is going - oh, how disappointed I was...

This one was allegedly supposed to be truer to the "real story" than the first film was. In the end, though, it actually managed to be even less realistic than the original! Tons of blood in the water in this one - and yet somehow, nary a nibble from any (entirely non-existent, according to this film) aquatic lifeforms...

This is one film that's better off avoided altogether, folks...

My most-valuable Magic: The Gathering cards

2009-08-27T23:38:00.002-04:00

Updated 10/5/09

Revised: Black Vise (Uncommon)
Fourth Edition: Hypnotic Specter (Uncommon)
Fifth Edition: Armageddon (Rare)
Sixth Edition: Archangel (Rare)
Magic 2010: Shivan Dragon (Rare, foil)
Portal I: Personal Tutor (Uncommon)
Fallen Empires: Hymn to Tourach (Common, x4 – all four illustrations)
Ice Age: Pox (Rare)
Alliances: Lake of the Dead (Rare)
Mirage: Flash (Rare, x2)
Visions: Tithe (Rare)
Weatherlight: Lotus Vale (Rare)
Tempest: Humility (Rare)
Stronghold: Mox Diamond (Rare)
Exodus: Curiosity (Uncommon)
Urza’s Saga: Tie – Opal Archangel (Rare), Wildfire (Rare)
Urza’s Legacy: Tie – Delusions of Mediocrity (Rare, foil), Mother of Runes (Uncommon)
Urza’s Destiny: Academy Rector (Rare)
Mercadian Masques: Charisma (Rare, Chinese text)
Nemesis: Tie – Parallax Wave (Rare), Daze (Common, x4)
Prophecy: Tie – Veteran Brawlers (Rare, foil), Avatar of Hope (Rare)
Invasion: Coalition Victory (Rare, foil)
Planeshift: Skyship Weatherlight (Rare, foil)
Apocalypse: Spectral Lynx (Rare)
Odyssey: Tie – Braids, Cabal Minion (Rare), Nantuko Mentor (Rare, foil)
Torment: Cabal Coffers (Uncommon, x2)
Judgment: Silver Seraph (Rare)
Onslaught: Polluted Delta (Rare)
Legions: Akroma, Angel of Wrath (Rare)
Scourge: Goblin Warchief (Uncommon, x3)
Mirrodin: Solemn Simulacrum (Rare)
Darksteel: Tie – Chromescale Drake (Rare, foil), Pulse of the Fields (Rare)
Fifth Dawn: Veldalken Shackles (Rare)
Champions of Kamigawa: Isamaru, Hound of Konda (Rare)
Betrayers of Kamigawa: Umezawa’s Jitte (Rare)
Saviors of Kamigawa: Choice of Damnations (Rare)
Time Spiral: Tie - Shadowmage Infiltrator (“Time-shifted” Rare), Flagstones of Trokair (Rare)
Planar Chaos: Tie – Life and Limb (Rare, foil), Gaea’s Anthem (Rare)
Future Sight: Pyromancer’s Swath (Rare)
Shadowmoor: Sunken Ruins (Rare)
Eventide: Balefire Liege (Rare)
Planechase: Grave Pact (Rare)
Unglued: Blacker Lotus (Rare)
Unhinged: Swamp (foil)

Magic: The Gathering - The Basics, Part 1:

2009-08-20T23:50:00.000-04:00

In Magic: The Gathering, players take on the roles of opposing Planeswalkers: god-like beings who can, under their own power, travel between worlds and - as their name implies - other planes of reality. As a Planeswalker, you tap into the land itself to summon little dudes - called "creatures" (and yes, human is just one of many creature sub-types) - to fight your opponent. Creatures also serve the dual role of blocking your opponent's creatures when they attack you, in return.

Both players start the game with a sixty-card deck; a seven-card opening hand; and twenty life points (which, as you might well expect, can go either up or down during the match). When one player's life points are reduced to zero (or any of the other victory conditions - albeit rare [such as running out of cards to draw] - are met), they lose the game!

The most basic resources in the game are land cards. Roughly one-third (and sometimes more!) of any good Magic: The Gathering deck is made up of lands. In this regard, deck design is somewhat easier than it is in other collectible card games...

Players "tap" (turn sideways, in order to show that it's been used this turn) land for one of five different colors of "mana" (a term you're undoubtedly familiar with if you've ever played the Diablo video games) - which is magical energy that's required to cast spells (comprised of all the other non-land card types). There are five different basic land types (although of course, there's plenty of other non-basic lands, too) - each with its own associated color of mana. Naturally, certain colors work better together than others - and while I've listed enemy colors, they are not in fact impossible to play in tandem (just more difficult).

The colors are, in order:

White mana
Basic land type: Plains
Allied colors: Blue and green
Enemy colors: Black and red
Largest creature type: Angels. Every set has at least one angel in it (and sometimes more) - most of them rare.
Most ubiquitous creature type: Human.
Strengths: Healing, damage prevention and redirection; lots of small creatures that are fast to bring into play (which have been nicknamed "weenies" by players)
Weaknesses: White has trouble, both with being able to deal much damage, and to deal it fast enough.

Blue mana
Basic land type: Islands
Allied colors: White and black
Enemy colors: Red and green
Largest creature type: Pretty much non-applicable, since it's a built-in counter-balance to blue's overall power in other aspects of the game. While blue does have a few large creatures, most of them have severe built-in drawbacks to their use.
Most ubiquitous creature type: Wizard (be they Merfolk, Faerie, etc.)
Streghths: Countering opponents' spells entirely; drawing lots of extra cards. Blue is often considered to be Magic's most powerful color.
Weaknesses: It is also the slowest. It takes longer to get the ball rolling with blue than it does with any other color.

Black mana
Basic land type: Swamps
Allied colors: Blue and red
Enemy colors: White and green
Largest creature type: Demons, Vampires and Djinns. Those three are among the rarest creature types in the game, though - sometimes years go by without new instances of the same!
Most ubiquitous creature type: Zombies, Skeletons etc.
Strengths: Forcing opponents to discard from their hands; bringing their own stuff back from the discard pile
Weaknesses: Black is the only color to have no way to deal with two powerful card types - Artifacts and Enchantments.

Red mana
Basic land type: Mountains
Allied colors: Black and green
Enemy colors: White and blue
Largest creature type: Dragons
Most ubiquitous creature type: Goblins
Strengths: Dealing damage directly to an opponent (bypassing blocking creatures entirely); destroying cards that are already in play
Weaknesses: Red often sacrifices caution for speed - many of its spells damage their players as much (sometimes more) as they do their opponents!

Green mana
Basic land type: Forests
Allied colors: White and red
Enemy colors: Blue and black
Largest creature type: Too numerous to list! Green is the color that's known for its big creatures.
Most ubiquitous creature type: Elves
Strengths: Fast mana production; lots of extra mana production; big creatures
Weaknesses: Green is the most average of Magic's five colors - but what it might lack in flashiness, when compared to the others, it more than makes up for by having no real glaring weaknesses...

There are also multi-colored/"gold" (the color of their card borders) spells. These require at least two, and possibly as many as five different colors of mana to cast! They typically combine the strengths of their respective colors, albeit usually not quite so powerful as in their uncombined forms. For example, a multi-colored black and blue spell might force your opponent to discard cards, while you yourself draw an equal amount of cards. Gold's largest creatures are the Elder Dragons.

Magic: The Gathering

2009-07-29T02:20:00.001-04:00

Updated 10/5/09

The following is an ordered list of my best Magic: The Gathering cards (playability-wise) thus far, by color. For simplicity's sake, no Commons are included.

White: Armageddon (Fifth Edition, Rare); Akroma, Angel of Wrath (Legions, Rare); Parallax Wave (Nemesis, Rare); Serra Angel (Fourth Edition, Uncommon); Akroma's Vengeance (Planechase, Rare)

Blue: Evacuation (Stronghold, Rare); Equilibrium (Seventh Edition, Rare); Serra Sphinx (Planar Chaos, Rare); Azumi, Lady of Scrolls (Champions of Kamigawa, Rare); Fatespinner (Mirrodin, Rare)

Black: Braids, Cabal Minion (Odyssey, Rare); Infernal Tribute (Weatherlight, Rare); Hypnotic Specter (Fourth Edition, Uncommon); Grave Pact (Planechase, Rare); Sengir Vampire (Torment, Rare)

Red: Savage Beating (Darksteel, Rare); Relentless Assault (Eighth Edition, Rare); Shivan Dragon (Magic 2010, Rare); Flametongue Kavu (Planechase, Uncommon); Skullscorch (Torment, Rare)

Green: Sylvan Library (Fifth Edition, Rare); Gaea's Anthem (Planar Chaos, Rare); Azusa, Lost but Seeking (Champions of Kamigawa, Rare); Enshrined Memories (Betrayers of Kamigawa, Rare); Eternal Witness (Fifth Dawn, Uncommon)

Multi-colored/Gold: Shadowmage Infiltrator (Time Spiral, "Time-shifted" Rare); Void (Invasion, Rare); Eladamri's Call (Planeshift, Rare); Stormbind (Time Spiral, "Time-shifted" Rare); Fires of Yavimaya (Planechase, Uncommon)

Artifact: Mox Diamond (Stronghold, Rare); Umezawa's Jitte (Betrayers of Kamigawa, Rare); Cloud Key (Future Sight, Rare); Black Vise (Revised, Uncommon); Crucible of Worlds (Fifth Dawn, Rare)

Land: Lotus Vale (Weatherlight, Rare); Undiscovered Paradise (Visions, Rare); Gemstone Mine (Weatherlight, Uncommon); Sunken Ruins (Shadowmoor, Rare); Heart of Yavimaya (Alliances, Rare)

Dinky Reviews!

2009-07-28T01:30:00.000-04:00

Orphan (2009). Starring a cast of mostly relative unknowns who, regardless of their relative inexperience, still manage to turn in some great performances!

Don't believe those poor, joyless souls who tell you not to see this movie – it's a real slice of good old-fashioned, grade-A horror movie cheese!

Be that as it may... it is not, however, the kind of movie that you need to pay twenty dollars or more just to see in the theater! Try and do like I did instead: Hit the earliest possible matinee showing, scrimp on the concessions (you can sneak stuff in, if you feel you must), and check your brain at the door!

Seriously, though...there's a lot here that doesn't make much sense on that last count. But still! Mmm, cheese...

Dinky Reviews!

2009-07-08T16:15:00.000-04:00

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009). Starring Peter Cullen, Frank Welker (and it's about dang time on that count – considering, you know, how Michael Bay totally snubbed him with a non-inclusion in 2007's Transformers!), the Candyman and Henry Jones the Third. Also some bony, greasy, and pointless slow-motion T & A in the form of Megan Fox – and some horrific racial stereotypes in the form of, well... in the form of some new Transformers!

I have decided that I will buy this when it's released on DVD. Probably not immediately... but eventually.

I will then write "This Movie Is Wrong!" on a little scrap of paper, and then tape it over the film's given title in a rather obvious fashion...

Dinky Reviews!

2009-07-08T15:30:00.001-04:00

Legion of Super-Heroes: Darkness Rising (2008). Starring... well, Jim Shooter, as far as I'm concerned! And some awesome, honest-to-goodness new characters, too, such as Gazelle and Voice!

If ever there was someone capable of undoing much of the damage wrought by Mark Waid's completely unnecessary "three-boot" of the Legion's on-going monthly, Jim Shooter was it! This is the first time that the comic series has actually felt like the Legion since DC inexplicably booted Abnett and Lanning off of the post-Zero Hour franchise – just because Waid claimed that he could make the series an instant "best seller" with his name affixed (but then, DC's loss was Marvel's gain – what with Abnett and Lanning's new take on Guardians of the Galaxy, and all)!

It's too bad that everything can't go back to the way it was, though – for instance, Karate Kid had already been established as a heterosexual in Waid's new continuity... Also, I'm guessing that the reason for Mon-El/Valor being absent from the current roster is because Waid brought in the modern-day Supergirl for his line-up – but oh well, what can ya do...

EDIT: Much to my chagrin, DC Comics has since done away with the Legion's ongoing title entirely.

Dinky Reviews!

2009-07-02T14:40:00.000-04:00

The Burrowers (2009). Starring Ethan from Lost, Kurgan from Highlander and Eugene Victor Tooms. Also some cool-looking monsters!

Look, I fully realize that not every movie has to have a happy-happy ending... especially when it comes to horror movies! But this one was just lazy. I mean, you know you've got a problem when I, myself – scarcely a Hollywood movie writer, at that! – can think up a better downer ending than the so-called professionals... and one that wouldn't waste the aforementioned cool-looking monsters, to boot!

My Monthly Personal Purchase!

2009-06-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

Every month, I make one purchase: an item or items equal to, but no more than thirty dollars in cost, using my sole credit card. I then immediately repay that debt as soon as it's due, in order to maintain my good credit score!

Well, this month I've chosen to pre-order (for the extra discount you get for pre-ordering) the deluxe editions of both Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, and Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (I purposely skipped A New Beginning – I'd sooner have a railroad spike driven into my skull than own that one)!

These two DVDs will join the deluxe editions of Friday the 13th, Part 2 and Friday the 13th, Part 3-D (which I got because it's the only option thus far for viewing that film in its original format!) that I already own...

Yes, I really loves me some Friday the 13th! I've got Jason X, Freddy vs. Jason and Friday the 13th (2009) on DVD, too. And that's not even mentioning the excellent His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th 2-disc documentary set (although I guess I did just mention it, didn't I?)!

And here's hoping that the reason Paramount's holding off on issuing Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood on deluxe edition DVD is that they're going to restore all of the film's deleted footage! That way, we'd finally get to see the film as director John Carl Buechler originally intended...

EDIT: Although the excised material was, in fact, included in the Deluxe Edition DVD release of Part VII, it was in such rough shape that - instead of being re-integrated into the movie proper - it was merely included as an extra.

Technical advice!

2009-06-11T01:20:00.000-04:00

If you're willing to futz around with your television's picture settings for about a half an hour, I've found that you can actually make the 3D effects on Paramount's Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc much more acceptable (although still pretty far from perfect)...

The stuff that works best? Lots of little things moving all at once (leaves blowing around, for example); movement in front of stationary backgrounds; folds in clothing; anything that's red (Vera's dress), blue (Chris' sweater) or green (Jason's shirt); inanimate objects, and anything shot at night/shrouded in darkness (which, thankfully, comprises a good chunk of the film)...

Also, it should be noted that the 3D glasses included with this release are much too small for the average adult's head! Consequently, one would do well to acquire a typical pair of red/blue 3D glasses from another source. And to that end, might I recommend Rhino's VHS release of Robot Monster? It includes two such pairs... and is a laughably terrible movie, to boot!

Dinky Reviews!

2009-06-10T22:23:00.000-04:00

The Happening (2008). Starring Marky Mark (sans the Funky Bunch), Cholo from Land of the Dead and the real-life sister of the actress who plays Dr. Temperance Brennan on TV's "Bones."

About the best thing that I can say about this movie is that it exists. That, and – in only the most literal of technical terms – it does, in fact, qualify as an actual movie (but only just barely). Never before (nor probably will I since) have I seen a film that just shows up, fails to engage the audience on any level (unless boredom counts), and then just as quickly leaves the screen... and all completely without explanation!

Dinky Reviews!

2009-06-04T18:38:00.000-04:00

Mirrors (2008). Starring Jack Bauer, George Romero's Bruiser and the butt of Amy Smart from the Crank series!

A lot of people have said that they have a problem with the way this film ends. Not me, though... I thought it was neat!

Now I just wish that the thing had earned enough money to warrant a sequel. Oh well... I guess that's what my imagination is for!

EDIT: Yes, I am aware of the since-released direct-to-DVD sequel - but considering that it has about as much to do with the first film as Amityville Dollhouse had to do with its parent series? Well, somehow I think that I'll give it a miss.

Dinky Reviews!

2009-05-31T21:28:00.000-04:00

Drag Me To Hell (2009). Starring Darry from Jeepers Creepers, and that one character actor who plays a nerdy guy in lots of things. Also an enchanting, heretofore unknown to me young actress, Alison Lohman.

First of all, I just wanted to go on record here: I, Risto Vadi Sneijder, love gypsies. Seriously, I love you guys... all you guys! I want to personally hug each and every one of you! (Note: For those of you who don't want and/or like hugs... would a firm handshake and a pat on the back do instead?)

That said (mild, vaguest SPOILERS)... the ending of this film? That took some serious chutzpah! Anti- animal cruelty people, however, would probably do well to steer clear of this one...

As it turns out:

2009-05-30T17:19:00.000-04:00

Not only did I get Disc 3 of 4, Terror of the Vervoids, from the Doctor Who: Trial of a Time Lord boxed set free of charge... but I also got a refund for my troubles, which actually worked out in my favor!

I do wish that the BBC had been able to get Bonnie Langford to participate in the extra features, however – blasphemy though it may be to most Doctor Who fans, I've actually enjoyed what I've seen so far of Mel's time as a companion...

Dinky Reviews!

2009-05-21T22:20:00.000-04:00

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006): Starring Freddy Krueger - the real one (with apologies to Jackie Earl Haley, who was excellent as Rorschach in Watchmen). With a brief, blink-and-you'll-miss-it wordless cameo by Jason - also the real one (a.k.a. Kane Hodder). And Zelda "This house... is clear!" Rubenstein! Plus some other random dudes and dudettes.

Perhaps one of the most important films to arrive on the horror movie scene in years. Seek this one out, and see it!

Dinky Reviews!

2009-05-21T04:22:00.001-04:00

My Bloody Valentine (2009): Starring John Locke's father, and that dude from Night of the Creeps (albeit in regretfully small roles). The rest are virtual unknowns.

Disappointing. Just a pale imitation of the original. All those people who've been saying that, when compared to Friday the 13th (2009), this one's the better redux? Well, they're wrong. They had a chance to deviate from the source material (with regards to the killer), thereby giving this thing its own identity... but they did their best to avoid it. It's too bad, then, that this is the one that got a stellar 3D transfer, whilst the same cannot unfortunately be said of Paramount's recent Friday the 13th, Part 3-D disc...

And, perhaps worst of all: They did practically nothing with the Valentine's Day theme! In the original, it is inextricably interwoven within the film's plot. This thing, though, could've been named just about anything else with a few superficial changes! Guess then they would've lost the miner angle, though...

Okay!

2009-05-18T00:59:00.000-04:00

Apparently I'm supposed to be writing something especially witty here, so that this blog gets picked up and optioned as a possible screenplay!

Dinky Reviews!

2009-05-17T01:07:00.000-04:00

Sleepwalkers (1992). Starring the Borg Queen, that dude from Charmed and a girl who's first name is the German word for, well... for girl!

Really, really, aggressively bad. Stephen, dude, I hate to tell you this... but cars in real life? Probably wouldn't explode like that after only being shot one time! Never before have I seen a film that hit you so often about the head with its omnipresent cameos. And yet, I'm still not convinced that this mess was entirely the fault of poor directorial decision-making. I mean after all, at least Garris seemed to mostly frame his shots correctly! No, this particular waste of time was spectacularly poorly written...

"Greetings! Mondo welcomes you to the Fight Palace!"

2009-05-16T19:29:00.001-04:00

...and if you get that reference (it's from an old PC-DOS game called Tongue of the Fatman) you might be a dork like me! :-)

Well, anywho... I know that I'm such a perfectionist that, unless I go ahead and jump right into this thing, it'll never get started at all... so here goes!